Another Side
by Violet Nyte
Summary: 1x2 Even after four years, Duo can't forget about Heero Yuy. When he suddenly gets a chance to have Heero in his life again, it seems too good to be true. Will he sacrifice love for the truth? -finished-
1. Identification

LSE // 3-22-03   
(Another Side - Chapter One: Identification)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Identification  
|  
  
---------------------December 23rd------------------------------------  
  
White flurries of snow twirled down from the ashen sky with a   
near-blizzard like intensity. Dark was rapidly falling, and with it a   
sharper chill and a freezing wind. He had to keep going if he wanted   
to reach his destination before the weather turned any worse.   
  
A thick sheet of ice slicked over the sidewalk, and the roads were no   
better. It was fortunate he hadn't bothered to hot-wire a car. The   
roads, iced and cleared by the airport, disintegrated into disaster   
the further he got into the lower-rent districts. Across the street,   
a bright neon sign proclaimed, "LI E NUD G RLS!" The establishment   
was empty and yellow police taped strung low across the doorway   
offered some hint to the building's abandoned status.   
  
He paused, looking up and down the street for a moment to orientate   
himself. He began to walk again, head ducked down to block out the   
worse of the wind and snow. But, a flood of bright light caused him   
to lift up his head and peer down the street. One loan car was   
advancing towards him.  
  
Moving higher up on to the sidewalk, he kept walking, hoping the car   
would just keep on going. The vehicle hit the sheets of ice and   
started to spin. He frowned, stopping to watch with a horrified   
fascination. If the car crashed, would he have to fetch help?  
  
The head lights spun with the car, and the entire mass of steel   
started to go off the road.  
  
Into his direction.  
  
Too late, he started to dive out of the way. Too late, the driver   
tried to jerk the wheel aside. A sickening thud and he was up on the   
car's hood, rolling into the windshield and up towards the roof. The  
car collided with a street pole and the momentum changed, throwing   
the now-limp body back off the car and into the show.  
  
The driver, a young woman in a slinky cocktail dress, was unhurt   
thanks to a seat belt and air-bag. She jumped out from the car and   
stared at the body for a stunned minute before fetching out her cell   
phone with shaking fingers.  
  
White flurries of snow twirled down from the darkened sky with a   
blizzard like intensity. The body lay limp in the snow as somewhere,   
distance sirens screamed through the streets towards the accident.   
  
---------------------Two Weeks Before---------------------------------  
  
With a yawn, Duo licked and stamped the final envelope. A contented   
sigh escaped as he surveyed the neatly piled stack of addressed and  
ready-to-be mailed Christmas cards. He'd had a nearly impossible time   
getting everyone's locations, but Duo was determined.   
  
Reaching out, he picked up the framed photo of the five Gundam pilots   
that sat on his desk. How many years had it been since he'd seen any   
of them? Far too long... for some... Duo abruptly set the photo back   
on the desk and gathered up the envelopes.  
  
Despite the late hour, he headed down the four flights of stairs to   
the crummy little lobby of his apartment complex. The place was   
really cheap and it showed. But he didn't care, because he only had a   
low-paying job working in a fairly shady video place. Which his   
military "career" it was a real step down, but what the hell. Decent   
jobs wouldn't take him anyways.  
  
He scraped enough off his job and the checks the government sent him   
("thank you, Duo, for saving the world as we know it") to afford the   
rat-hole. He wondered how the other pilots were doing. Quatre, he   
knew, was living up the high life. And, going by the address on   
Trowa's Christmas card and what he'd been able to glean off Quatre on   
the last phone call, Trowa living it up on L4 as well.  
  
Quatre and Trowa's cards went into the mail slot, both destined for   
the same address. He could have saved postage and sent them a   
combined card, but that was probably too suggestive.   
  
Also into the mail went a random assortment of people he knew aside   
from the war, and then the rest of the war-buds. He hesitated,   
though, which just two cards left. With a snort, he shoved Wufei's   
into the box. He had been sending the pilot-turned-scholar a card for   
three years now without a single reply. No doubt, the boy was doing   
some vow of silence. Or just being rude.  
  
Either way, fourth time's the charm!  
  
Which just left him with one card. One, last card. Easily the most   
important card, addressed to Heero Yuy; Sapporo, Japan, Earth. He'd   
pulled strings and broken a few laws to get the address, and he   
wasn't even sure if it was the right one. Heero had just vanished in   
the days following the end of the war.   
  
Duo was greatly tempted to rip open the envelope and read, for one   
last time, the card. But, he'd memorized the contents by now. The   
words were so painfully casual. Not even four years could dim the   
memory of the Perfect Soldier and his patented death glare.  
  
"Oh, Heero..." Duo murmured out loud, shoving the card down into the   
mail box. If only he'd told Heero how he felt when it was still   
possible to...  
  
Duo sighed once more and turned away, looking up to the half-broken   
wall clock hanging above the lobby desk. It was late, but he didn't   
have to work on Sundays anyway. Maybe he'd go do something. Attempt   
to socialize. Walk in the park.  
  
He only wished he could see Heero's face when the card arrived...  
  
---------------------December 24th, Christmas Eve---------------------  
  
"I got your card, Q. Is Trowa with you? Uh-huh. Catherine, too?   
Awesome, I wish I could come visit you guys. Catherine's turkey   
sounds better than take-out and cold pizza..." Duo shuffled past the   
snuggly warmth of the electric heater and into the kitchen, making a   
beeline for the coffee machine.  
  
"Oh, you should come, Duo!" Quatre said, sounding faint and   
mechanical through Duo's cheap phone. "It wouldn't be a bother at all   
for one or two more. You could see if Heero would come, then we'd all   
be together again! I could give Relena a ring, she and Noin... Sally   
and Wufei..." Quatre's voice faded off, and for a moment Duo feared   
his old phone had died completely.  
  
"Quatre?"  
  
"...have you heard from Heero?"  
  
Duo shifted the coffee mug to his other hand and snagged a stale   
donut from the box on the counter. "Not since the war ended. I got  
his address, though. Sent him a Christmas card."  
  
"Really? Oh, give me his address, I'll send him one, too!"  
  
Duo laughed, "Quatre, it's Christmas Eve! Oh, okay, okay. Let me...   
Wait, hang on for a minute, got another call. One second, it might be   
important... Hello? Yes, speaking."  
  
The coffee mug dropped from suddenly limp fingers and fell to the   
floor with a terrific shatter. The donut followed, bouncing harmlessly  
against the tile and rolling off into oblivion.  
  
"Quatre? I'm going to have to call you back..."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The hospital was practically abandoned when Duo arrived, but that was   
to be expected since it was Christmas Eve. He used the main entrance   
like the doctor on the phone told him to and the smiling nurse behind   
the counter handed him the sign-in sheet. His watch read 10:13am, but   
the hospital clock told him 10:18am. He compromised and wrote in   
10:15 as the time. It was a perfectly stupid thing to think about,   
but it kept his mind from actually pondering what the doctor had   
told him.  
  
The nurse smiled when he handed back in the sign-in sheet. "Thank you.  
Doctor Haines with be with you shortly," she said, gesturing vaguely   
towards the couches.   
  
Duo sat down in one and looked at the array of magazines. None of   
them looked interesting, so he resorted to spinning his thumbs   
restlessly. Maybe he'd heard the doctor wrong on the phone...  
  
//"Hello, may I please speak to a Mister Duo Maxwell?"//  
  
//"Yes, speaking."//  
  
//"I'm sure this is going to sound a little odd, but this is Doctor   
Haines with St.Mary's Hospital and we have a John Doe here with your   
address on him. I was hoping you could come down and see if you   
recognize him..."//  
  
Duo wasn't sure why the news had upset him so much. Except for the   
fact the hospital didn't know who the man was, and Duo didn't like   
that the man had his address. He wondered why the man was a John Doe.   
Maybe the guy was dead.   
  
"Mr. Maxwell?" the pretty nurse gave him a smile, "The doctor will   
see you now."  
  
Duo rose and followed her down a brightly lit hallway until she came   
to a stop before an open door. Peeking inside, Duo saw the doctor   
sitting behind his desk and walked in after the nurse said, "Doctor   
Haines? Mr. Maxwell here to see you."  
  
"Come in," the doctor said, gesturing to one of the upholstered   
chairs, "please sit down. I'm glad you could make it in so quickly.   
Before we go see if you know our John Doe, I'd just like to know if   
you were expecting any company?"  
  
"No, not especially..." Duo shook his head for emphasis.  
  
"Hm," the doctor said, tapping the tips of his fingers together, "I   
hope the man doesn't turn out to be a friend or family member. Well,   
shall we?" the doctor got up from his chair and came around the desk.  
  
"Could you wait for him to wake up and just tell you his name?" Duo   
asked as politely as possible, hoping to gain a little more   
information on the John Doe.  
  
"To be honest, Mr. Maxwell, we're not sure if when he'll wake up.   
From what we've gathered, he was hit by a car somewhere near your   
residence last night. That, and the fact he had your address on him,   
makes us think you might be able to identify him. Again, I'm very   
glad you've agreed to help us with this matter."  
  
Duo nodded, "Of course."  
  
The doctor continued talking as they got into the elevator, "Our John   
Doe has received critical brain damage and is currently comatose. If   
the young man has any close relatives or friends, we want them to   
know immediately."  
  
The elevator stopped on the fifth floor; the Intensive Care Unit,   
according to the directional arrows. "I'm aware the machines may make   
it a bit difficult to recognize him, but, please, take your time."  
  
Doctor Haines pulled back the curtain across the doorway and Duo   
stepped into the small, crowded room. True enough, there were several   
machines hooked up to the body lying beneath the starched white   
sheets. Duo stepped forward to better examine the still form and then   
drew in a horrified gasp.  
  
"Mr. Maxwell? Do you know him?"  
  
Duo nodded, not able to trust his voice. Even though he hadn't seen   
him in four years, it didn't matter. A clean, white bandage covered   
most of the head and only allowed a small bit of the unruly chocolate   
hair to stick out. Minor cuts and a livid bruise marred features that   
looked so strangely relaxed. Closed lids concealed the cobalt blue   
eyes Duo knew and... loved.  
  
Duo had to swallow the lump in his throat before turning to the doctor  
and saying softly, "His name is Heero Yuy."  
  
|  
  
|   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Well, I went and started a new story. PLEASE let me   
know if you want me to continue! I really like this story and hope   
you guys want me to write it!   
This first chapter's a little on the short side, sorry.  
I'm not sure if I'll be able to type for a while: my keyboard's on   
the fritz. It's taking me a long time to write anything since my "E"   
key up went and busted on me. Example:  
My stupid kyboard rfuss to typ lik it should b, and it just had to   
go and pick th most commonly usd lttr in th alphabt! I hat it!  
Yeah, annoying isn't it? If I really pound on it, I can get it to   
work, but that hurts my wrist and takes forever. Argh.   
Maybe I'll just go buy a new keyboard tomorrow...  
Anyways! I'm going to really try and not let school stop my writing.   
  
Oh, and if you're wondering about the "|" you'll notice FFN's being   
really stupid and not formatting text files properly. Grrr...  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!   
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	2. A Kiss

LSE // 3-22-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Two: A Kiss)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
A Kiss   
  
-  
  
Feeling very much like he was just stuck in the eye of the hurricane,   
Duo snatched a few minutes to himself in one of the impossibly   
uncomfortably waiting rooms. For now, it seemed there were no more   
forms to fill out and questions to answer. And Duo had to remember to   
send Quatre a great big thank you card.   
  
The hospital tried to find records for Heero, but beyond the   
government's short file with much of the information left blank,   
there was none. Which meant Heero had no insurance, and no family to   
take care of the hospital bills. Fortunately, it had only taken a   
quick phone call to Quatre to solve the finance issue, and Duo hadn't   
even had to ask.   
  
"Mr. Maxwell?" came a quiet voice, and Duo looked up to find a   
not-so-young and smiling nurse looking down at him. She looked   
friendly enough, but he thought for a minute she was going to kick   
him out of the waiting room. Instead, she held out a strangely   
familiar white envelope, "Doctor Haines told me to give this to you.   
It's what we found on Mr. Yuy."  
  
Duo blinked at her rather stupidly before reaching up to take it from   
her. It didn't take long to figure out what he was holding. He looked   
back up to the nurse with a look of shock.   
  
"I'm sorry," she said simply, turning and walking away.  
  
In his hands was the Christmas card Duo had sent to Heero. Which   
proved Heero had gotten it after all! That irrational surge of joy   
turned to stunned horror as Duo realized what it also meant. Hands   
shaking, he took the card out of the envelope, staring for a moment   
at the cheerful image of holly before opening the card.  
  
"Hey Heero! Bet you're surprised to get this, huh? ..." Duo mumbled   
the worlds out loud, skimming down them with growing fear. He found   
the line he was looking for and nearly dropped the card. "I was   
thinking, how would you like to spend the holidays here with me?   
Well, I hope to hear from you soon. Feel free to just drop in!"  
  
Heero had been hit by that car not far from Duo's house. Carrying  
nothing but this Christmas card. Oh, Christ, Duo swore silently, he  
was actually coming to visit me! That was the only thing that made   
sense, that Heero Yuy had actually been coming to see Duo.  
  
Christ.   
  
On a biscuit.  
  
Shoving the card into his pocket, Duo stood with a stretch and looked   
around to see what wing of the hospital he had ended up in. Instead   
of a helpful map or a directional arrow, he found the clock. His   
stomach growled angrily, since it was past noon and he never got   
around to even eating lunch.   
  
Maybe he should do like one of the nurses suggested and go home.   
Eat, rest... but what if Heero woke up? Okay, so he'd compromise.   
After all, they were moving Heero into a private room (thank you,   
Quatre) and Duo was sure he could run home, grab some food and a few   
other things and get back here before they finished the move.   
  
Excellent plan, Maxwell!  
  
It took Duo a while to find his way out from the hospital and out to   
his vehicle, still parked in the visitors area. On the drive back to   
his apartment, he couldn't help but marvel at the stupidity of the   
entire situation. Here he was, nineteen years old, working a dead-end   
job shelving adult videos that swung just this side of legality and   
suddenly he was charged with the responsibility of a comatose   
ex-pilot.   
  
But, this was not just any pilot, this was Heero Yuy. A man Duo had   
spent the past four years in love with. He wasn't sure when he'd   
first realized he loved Heero. Maybe it was that first memorable   
meeting, or during the countless missions they ran together. How many   
nights had he lain awake listening to the rhythmic pattern of Heero's   
breathing?  
  
Nights spent longing to look into those cobalt depths and see some   
sort of emotion reflected back at him. No, not Heero, with Heero it   
was always mission parameters and stoicism. If... WHEN Heero woke up   
out of that coma, he was most likely just going to look around and go,  
"Hn," in that monotone of his.  
  
Except, Heero had been coming to see him, and Duo felt, somehow, that   
made him responsible. Somehow...  
  
His apartment looked horrendously ghetto, Duo realized, deftly   
parallel parking in his spray-pain marked spot. Some guilty part of   
him was secretly glad Heero hadn't seen the place. If... WHEN Heero   
woke up, Duo would have to find somewhere else to stay. He'd have to   
sacrifice digital cable and probably sell the surround sound   
speakers, but it was time he moved anyway.  
  
The place probably had rats. And the other tenants weren't exactly   
the friendliest people. By the time Duo was on the third flight of   
stairs, he had officially come to conclusion a new apartment was in   
order.  
  
And, maybe Heero could chip in for the cost.  
  
Because Heero would live with him.  
  
Duo was still snickering at the thought as he walked into his stupid,   
crummy apartment. In the spirit of the holiday season, a rather   
pathetic looking Christmas tree was leaning over in one corner of the   
living room with half-broken gold bulbs hanging from the sparse   
branches. Here he was, Christmas Eve, getting ready to go spend the   
holiday sitting in a clinically uncomfortable chair in a stale, over  
disinfected hospital room staring randomly at one of the monitors.   
  
Freaking hallelujah and joy to the world.  
  
He edged around the kitchen, which still held the shattered remains   
of his coffee mug and, somewhere, the last stale donut. Reaching the   
cabinets, he opened one up at random to reveal a box of baking soda   
and a twinkie. Somewhere, he'd read that you could actually put a   
twinkie outside in the rain for two weeks and it'd still be edible.   
He wasn't sure if that entirely reassuring, but he was hungry. The   
refrigerator yielded only a half-gallon of milk that was creeping   
towards the expiration date and what appeared to be... pizza. Frozen,   
cardboard pizza. And the microwave was busted.  
  
Sometime, he needed to go grocery shopping. Duo stuffed the twinkie   
in his pocket and left the kitchen munching on the pizza. It wasn't   
terribly nauseating. Still chewing, he managed to locate a ratty old   
backpack and throw in a change of clothes. Just in case.  
  
That all said and done, Duo went back out into the kitchen and hunted   
through the debris until he found a couple of credits stuffed into a   
coffee mug. Emergency take-out money. He stuffed the bills into the   
pocket with the twinkie and took one last survey of the apartment.  
  
Definitely he'd be moving.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Back at the hospital, the large chunk of his afternoon was spent   
talking to the different doctors and filling out an endless flow of   
paperwork and forms. The nurse seemed very upset when Duo couldn't   
supply anything regarding Heero's date of birth or relatives, but it   
the same argument he'd been having with them all morning.   
  
"Look, I'm really sorry," Duo said, pushing the partially-completed   
forms across the counter towards the nurse, "but I don't know that   
much about Heero and there's no one alive that I'm aware of that   
could tell you anything more. I really am sorry, but you'll just have   
to assume he's an orphan."  
  
"There aren't any records of a Heero Yuy.."  
  
"I know, I know, but that's just..." Duo sighed, "I'm sorry."  
  
The nurse frowned and took the forms gingerly, as if afraid the   
incompleted information would jump out and bite her fingers. "Thank   
you, Mr. Maxwell," she said with a sigh.  
  
Grumbling rather rude words, Duo wandered off from the nurse's   
station and down the pristine hallway towards Heero's room. He made a   
mental note to later explore the hospital and locate either vending   
machines or the cafeteria. Preferably vending machines. And the gift   
shop, they'd at least have candy.   
  
The room was small, but it was a private room with a window view of   
the parking lot. Not exactly the Ritz, but there was a TV bolted into   
one corner of the ceiling and two strangely comfortable upholstered   
chairs. Duo suspected the hospital broke regulations by having chairs   
that didn't feel like satan's torture seat.   
  
"Hi there, Heero," Duo said brightly as he entered, because of the   
doctors had said that "audio stimulation" might wake Heero. Duo   
wondered if that meant he could bring up a CD player and blast some   
decent music. Maybe they had digital cable and he could find a dirty   
porn movie. That'd wake Heero up!  
  
"Nice room, huh?" he asked, dragging one of the oddly-comfortable   
chairs over to the bed. He didn't sit down, though, because then he   
couldn't see Heero's face. There wasn't much to see, but Duo felt   
better if he wasn't talking to the bed rails. "You'll have to thank   
Quatre a whole bunch when you wake up. And me, I guess. But you don't   
have to, it's cool. I wasn't doing anything at home anyways."  
  
Duo glanced to the door, "Maybe I'll find a cute, young doctor and   
flirt shamelessly. Make you all jealous. Oh, I'm just teasing. I'd   
never do that."  
  
It was unnaturally silent, even with the steady beeps and random   
noises from the monitors and machines. Duo suspected some of the   
machines were only there to take up space and look impressively high   
tech and expensive.  
  
"Sorry there, Heero, but I'm going to need this..." Duo reached   
across the bed and fished the TV control out from between the sheets.   
His fingers brushed up against Heero's hip and Duo jerked his hand   
back so suddenly he dropped the remote right on to Heero's chest.   
Laughing nervously, he plucked the control up and turned the TV on.  
  
"What do you want to watch, Heero? Sports? Yeah, I didn't take you   
for a sports kind of guy anyways. Hey, well, I'm going to go hunt   
down the vending machines and gift shop. You can watch...uhmm..." Duo   
spun through the channels -- just basic cable -- until he found some   
educational program about the technologies of colonization.   
  
"Here. Watch this. Maybe you'll get so bored you'll wake up to change   
the channel, huh?"  
  
And Heero just slept on. Duo leaned up against the door frame and   
peeked into the room, irrationally wanting to see if the Japanese boy   
would get up and change the channel. No such luck.  
  
"What are you doing?" demanded an imperious voice behind him, and Duo   
spun around to find himself waist-to-face with a little girl in a   
hospital gown.   
  
"Er," Duo said in a grandly coherent matter, trying to look casual   
and failing miserably.  
  
The girl rolled her eyes in a very grown-up way, "You're so weird. My   
mommy says that this hospital's full of weirdos and cracks and that's   
why I'm going someplace else."  
  
"Cracks?" Duo blinked, not entirely sure what was going on. He   
glanced over his shoulder to make sure he hadn't accidentally gotten   
into the pediatrics ward. Yup, Heero was still there, and the walls   
weren't decorated in cartoon animals and bright colors.  
  
"My mommy says the doctors are all cracks."  
  
"Quacks?" Duo guessed, not wanting to assume someone had told the   
girl all the doctors were crack-addicts. Or Crackers, but that seemed   
a bit too southern and definitely not a term used in western Europe.  
  
"Sure," the girl said, staring up at him. "Are you an escaped wacko   
come to hack us apart with your chain saw? 'cause daddy let me watch   
this one video, and thats what happened and everyone died."  
  
"Uh, right. Wait, I mean, no, I don't even own a chain saw!" Feeling   
very overwhelmed, Duo looked helplessly up and down the corridor for   
either a nurse of the girl's mother. Or father. Or just her keeper.  
  
"Whatever," the girl said with a sense of years beyond her   
three-foot-something stature.   
  
Suddenly, there to rescue him was a tired-looking young man who said,   
"Tabitha Agnes! I have been looking all over..." but the gentle   
chiding abruptly ending into an embarrassed flush as the man noticed   
Duo standing there. "I'm so sorry, sir, my daughter... I hope she   
wasn't bothering you," he said, taking the little girl's hand.  
  
"He doesn't have a chain saw," Tabitha Agnes said knowingly.  
  
"It's okay," Duo hurried to say, "she wasn't bothering me at all."  
  
She stuck her tongue out at Duo.  
  
"Uh, cute girl," Duo offered out weakly.  
  
"I think she's a perfect little monster with an ugly face," the young   
man said with a foolish grin, looking down at the terror in question.   
  
The girl giggled and poked his leg, "I'll tell mommy you said that!"  
  
"And I'll tell her you ran off from your room again to go pester the   
poor sick people in the other wards!" he glanced over to Duo. "Again,   
I'm just really sorry. Tabby's just curious as a cat, but she doesn't  
mean anything by it.  
  
"Uh..." Duo said, wanting to just back into the room and close the   
door. He never was good with children. "It's okay," he said again as   
Tabitha Agnes and her father rapidly disappeared.   
  
It wasn't until he was in the elevator and half-way to the lobby he   
realized that he should have asked them where the vending machines   
were located. But, not even for yummy candy would he risk another   
brush with small hospital-bound children. They were either so   
terribly cute and brave that you knew they weren't far from croaking   
or just annoying and noisy and sure to live.  
  
And that was such a depression thought, Duo went straight into the   
gift shop and bought a big box of chocolates.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Later that evening, the box of chocolates half-empty and lying in the   
other chair, Duo stared up at the television screen with   
mind-blowingly complete boredom. "You know, Heero, you're so lucky   
to be unconscious for this."  
  
Somewhere off down the hallway, Duo could barely make out the muffled   
lyrics of a Christmas carol. Since Heero never cared for music and he   
wasn't in the holiday, Duo hauled himself out of the chair and closed   
the door. Now the only sounds were the stupid monitors and the   
television, which featured the same program over technology.  
  
"Okay, fine, I'll change it," Duo grumbled, reaching up to grab the   
television control. The thing was attached to a cord that run into   
the wall and controlled more than just the television. A few hours   
ago, he'd laughed himself silly goofing around with bed go-up and   
go-down controls. But, the four most important buttons were volume,   
power and the one button that went through the channels, but only   
in one direction.  
  
Duo yawned, more from boredom than an actual sense of tiredness.   
"What do you want to watch, Heero?" Something told him Heero Yuy   
didn't want to watch an incredibly sappy feel-good clay-animation   
holiday cartoon. But, Heero Yuy didn't really have a say in the   
matter! Duo smirked and set the remote back up on the bed.  
  
He started to feel guilty when the theme song was only half-way   
through and by the time the first claymation reindeer said "Jimminy   
whiskers, Santa!" Duo was scrambling for the remote.  
  
Finally, he abandoned the idea and just turned the stupid television   
off and went to get a pillow from the nurse's station. He managed   
to get a blanket in the deal and went back to curl up in the chair.   
He could just go home and battle empty pizza boxes for a spot on his   
bed, but for some reason, he felt the need to just stay at   
the hospital.  
  
Maybe because his heating no longer functioned.  
  
Maybe it was the fact that Heero had been coming to see him and they   
were suppose to spend the holidays together.  
  
Or maybe it was because he was just lonely.  
  
"Good-night, Heero," Duo said softly, curling around the pillow.   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Duo woke with a yawn and attempted to stretch, but the entire movement  
jolted his already precarious balance and he came close to toppling   
right out of the chair. A mad scramble and a few curses later, Duo  
was standing free of the death-trap and trying to work out the knots   
in his back.   
  
He blinked, unable to understand where he was for a few minutes, and   
then it sunk in and he remembered. Somehow, Duo had been holding out   
for the whole thing just to be a really crappy dream. "Good morning,   
sunshine," he said with a yawn.  
  
It seemed that Heero's heart monitored bleeped in response.  
  
Duo definitely needed coffee.  
  
He glanced to the door, which had been opened at some point, probably   
by a nurse doing vitals checks. He edged towards the bed in stealth   
mode and looked down at Heero's immobile body.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Heero," Duo whispered softly, bending over slowly.   
Hardly daring to breath, he leaned in and gently brushed his lips   
over Heero's cheek. A surge of affection went through him and he   
broke into a foolish grin.   
  
He straightened, and then let out a shriek, toppling over the accursed  
chair and to the floor with terrific thud. Jumping back to his feet,   
Duo gripped the bed rail and stared down at Heero.  
  
And cobalt blue eyes stared back at him.  
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Yay! I'm so glad you want me to continue! ^_^   
Happiness for everyone! I went and got myself a new keyboard, it was   
kinda cheap. So, it'll probably break, but that's okay.  
  
This chapter's nice and long since the first one was kinda short. Yay.  
  
I'm going to go eat ice cream, then hurry back and start typing again!   
This chapter went un-betaed... Whoops.  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!   
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	3. The New Year

LSE // 3-23-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Two: The New Year)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
The New Year  
  
-  
  
"Oh, God..." Duo moaned, sinking into the waiting room sofa. Elbows   
resting on his knees, he looked blankly at the landscape painting on   
the wall before giving up and burying his head in his hands. What had   
he been thinking? What had ever given him the idea to KISS Heero?  
  
The Gods of Irony must be rolling on the floor, Duo thought grimly.   
Of all times for Heero to wake up...! He knew he was suppose to be   
happy Heero even woke up at all. He'd read somewhere about this guy   
who died after being in a coma for 42 years. Duo just couldn't   
imagine Heero being a vegetable all his life...  
  
He had no idea what was going on. The nurses and doctors had chased   
him out and then probably forgot all about him. The wing was quiet,   
abandoned and rightfully so on Christmas morning. All the sane people  
in the world were snuggled up with their loved ones drinking hot   
chocolate and watching the children gorge themselves of new toys.  
  
Merry Christmas, Heero.  
  
Oh, God...  
  
Heero was going to kill him. Or he'd just die of embarrassment. Or he   
could leave. Just, just leave. ...no, what if Heero still needed him?   
What if... what if Heero died? What if he just woke up, died, and   
they couldn't find Duo because he was in the waiting room the whole   
time and then Heero's just dead and...  
  
"Oh. Hey, there... Are you okay?"  
  
Slowly, Duo lifted his head out of his heads and peered up at who   
ever was talking to him. It took a while, but finally he blinked and   
sat up a little straighter, recognizing the man to be that hospital   
brat's father. Tabitha, or whatever.  
  
"You look like you could use some of this," the man said, sitting   
next to Duo and offering out a smile and a steaming cup of coffee.  
  
"Oh. Thanks," Duo took the coffee and stared down into the black   
depths, absently wondering if he should bother with cream and sugar.  
  
"Did you get some bad news?" the man asked kindly, then hesitated and   
added, "I'm Mark, by the way."  
  
"Uh, I'm Duo," he mumbled, taking a much-needed drink of coffee. Ah,   
caffiene tasted heavenly, even without sugar. "I guess... no, not bad   
news. My... friend, he was in a coma and... he woke up, I guess. No   
one's told me what's happening or anything."  
  
The man, Mark, nodded understandingly, "You should go complain.   
Squeaky wheel gets the grease, huh? Cheer up, I'm sure your friend'll   
be just fine."  
  
With a shrug and a half-nod, Duo glanced up from the coffee to find   
himself staring into large, aqua-blue eyes. Mark was sitting right   
there on the couch next to him. Was it just his imagination, or were   
their knees touching? For some reason, his traitorous heart gave a   
thump and he hastened to blurt out anything, "What's your daughter in   
for? Er- I mean!" Duo broke into a heated flush.  
  
"Oh, Tabby. We're not sure yet, she's been having some breathing   
problems and her mother just wants to cover all the bases."   
  
Duo shifted awkwardly, "Oh, I'm sorry. Is she..."   
  
"Yeah, she's going to be fine. Just tests and observations. Her mom   
worries too much," Mark said with a laugh. Duo was now convinced   
their knees were definitely touching. And he definitely was going to   
hell for thinking what he was thinking.  
  
"Did you stay the night here? You must be tired," those aqua eyes   
studied Duo carefully as one hand rose to casually flick aside a   
stray lock of hair that had fallen out from Duo's braid. "You have to   
remember to take good care of your hair. And you have such pretty   
hair, how long did it take to grow it this long?"  
  
"Erm," Duo mumbled something about childhood and forever and tried to   
focus on anything but --  
  
Whatever resistance he was struggling to create melted abruptly when   
soft lips suddenly caught him own. Violet eyes flew wide and Duo   
pulled away enough to stammer, "But... but isn't there a... Mrs...   
Mrs. Mark?"  
  
"Nuh-uh, divorced," the other man breathed, leaning back in for   
another kiss. Too shocked to even think about protesting, Duo was   
helpless before the rising rush of emotions. Christ, what was he   
doing, making out in a hospital waiting room while Heero...  
  
But, Heero had never shown any interest. Not in Duo and not even in   
the entire male gender. For all Duo knew, Heero was a happy   
heterosexual with a wife and seven kids. Or seven wives and one kid.   
And now, which Duo's grandly stupid kiss, Heero was never going to...  
  
And Mark was obviously interested, and didn't Duo deserve...  
  
"Mr. Maxwell?" came a polite interjection, followed by a stunned   
silence and then an equally polite cough.  
  
Duo jerked away so violently he toppled right off the sofa and on to   
the floor. The nurse stared passively back at him, unmoved by the   
scene before her and said, "The doctor would like to see you now."  
  
"Uh, yes, thank you, uhm..."   
  
Dammit, Maxwell, get a GRIP!  
  
"Well," Mark said with a heavy sigh, kneeling off the couch and   
suddenly looming very close into Duo's range of vision.  
  
Christ. I was kissing this man! Duo thought, and, in one panicked   
moment, he was half-afraid Mark was going to start kissing him again.   
Fortunately --unfortunately?-- the man neither kissed him or made any   
advancements besides slipping a folded-over napkin into Duo's front   
pants pocket.  
  
"Well, there's my number, cutie," he said with an airy tone, standing   
and offering a hand to help Duo to his feet.  
  
Duo seemed determined to be completely incoherent as he just muttered   
embarrassedly, "Er. Uhh..."  
  
The nurse said nothing. She was acting as if it was normal hospital   
procedure to come across two men lip-locking on waiting room sofas.   
Maybe it was. No, if it was, there would be a greater number of   
young, hot gay nurses running around. Maybe there were and they were   
all on a different ward. And maybe Duo needed seriously just   
bitch-slap some sense into himself!  
  
Duo followed her down one of the hallways to a completely different   
office than the one he'd first met Doctor Haines in. He had enough   
presence of mind to catch the name on the door plate (Doctor T. M.   
Perkins) before escaping from the overtly innocent looks the nurse   
kept shooting him.  
  
"Mr. Maxwell," Haines said with a nod, "please come in. This is   
Doctor Perkins, a neurological specialist. Doctor Perkins, this is   
Duo Maxwell, who has kindly taken over care of our Mr. Yuy."  
  
"Ah," Perkins offered out a hand and it took Duo a few seconds to   
figure out to shake it properly. Settling into one of the   
uncomfortable chairs, he looked expectantly at the two doctors.   
"Well, Mr. Maxwell, I must admit, Mr. Yuy seems to be a medical  
miracle."  
  
Duo blinked and successfully suppressed the urge to laugh, "Miracle?"  
  
Haines walked around from the behind the desk and over to the wall,  
which held an X-ray viewer. Flicking the light panel on, the doctor   
rifled through the file in his hands for a moment before sticking two  
similar images into the slots. "This first one shows Mr. Yuy's head   
when he was first brought into the hospital."  
  
"Jesus," Duo said, assuming normal human skulls didn't usually have   
large cracks running down them.  
  
"Severe head trauma such as this is very concerning for the brain.   
When the patient lapses into a coma, each day they remain in that   
state comparably equals the amount of brain damage they will have   
upon wakening... if they waken at all. Six months is usually the date   
at which we will start to consider the patient is in PVS -- Permanent   
Vegetative State. Mr. Yuy, however...  
  
"This X-ray was taken just a few hours ago, shortly after you   
reported seeing eye movement, Mr. Maxwell."  
  
"Jesus," Duo repeated, assuming that normal human skulls didn't   
usually heal said giant cracks that quickly. The image looked fine;   
no hint of it having been split open.  
  
Doctor Haines nodded slowly, "I must admit I've never seen or heard   
anything like this in my entire twenty-year career. However, Doctor   
Perkins has offered one explanation for this beyond the constructs of   
this actually being a miracle... Mr. Maxwell, to your knowledge, was   
Mr. Yuy ever involved in any sort of enhancement experiments or   
procedures? I was recently made aware that our Heero Yuy is the   
actual Heero Yuy from the war... the Gundam pilot?"  
  
Duo nodded eagerly, "Yes, yes! Doctor J!"  
  
The two doctors exchanged glances.  
  
"No, I meant, Heero. He was trained, by Doctor J. I always knew   
something was up with that, right? He had this really impressive   
physical strength for such a scrawny guy, and I saw him reset his   
own broken bone once. He's thrown himself off cliffs before and   
lived..." Duo looked between the two doctors, some desperate part   
of him hoping this meant Heero had somehow just fixed himself right   
up and was...  
  
"That," Perkins said slowly, "would explain quite a lot."  
  
"Is Heero okay?" Duo asked, nervously biting on his lower lip. What   
if Heero was perfectly okay and up in his room ranting about moronic   
bakas and 'omae o korosu' this and...  
  
"By medical standards, Mr. Yuy is a miracle. He has suffered   
extremely minor brain damage for the extent of his injuries, and the   
fact he has regained consciousness after less than 48 hours of the   
accident is simply remarkable. Were we dealing with a standard   
incident of this matter, I would give a six month recovery period   
followed by a year of regular check-ins to access the healing   
process. However, in this case I can't say for sure how long it will   
take your friend with his "enhancements" to heal completely."  
  
"Oh," Duo said, the large chunk of the technical terminology going   
right over his head, "can I see him?"  
  
"Yes, of course, I just want to make sure you're not having any   
irrational hopes in this matter. Mr. Yuy is extremely lucky, but   
brain is a vastly complex structure and these types of injuries,   
quite frankly, most often result in fatality or PVS. But, like we've   
established, this is a most atypical case."  
  
"So... Heero won't be a veggie?"  
  
The doctor smiled slightly, "At this point, it seems very likely   
Mr. Yuy will make a complete recovery."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When he went into the room, Heero was asleep. The only notable   
difference that Duo could see what the absence of a breathing   
machine, which was hopeful. "Hey, there, Heero," Duo said softly,   
standing near the bed and looking down at the pale, still face.  
  
"Look like your bruises are healing over nicely. Pretty impressive   
trick with the skull, hm?"   
  
Duo bit his lower lip again, "I'm really sorry, Heero. I didn't mean   
to just kiss you like that. Promise me you won't hate me, okay?   
Promise you'll get better real fast. We can spend New Year's   
together! Just me and you, okay? Or..." Duo dove for control and   
caught the words before they trembled off into tears, "Or we can   
go to a real fancy party and dance all night long."   
  
"Just, get better, okay?"  
  
From Heero, there was no response.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The next week Duo spent more time in the hospital than the nurses.   
Despite Doctor Haines' assurances that Heero was recovery rapidly,   
Duo was being eaten by worry, and finding Mark's number in his jeans   
pocket (which he promptly threw away) didn't help matters.   
  
Heero slept all the time, which the nurses and Doctor Haines told him   
was mostly from medication designed to keep Heero unconscious and   
immobile while his body healed. Duo didn't understand why they had   
been so eager for him to wake only to put him back under once more.  
  
He became a haunt around the floor, sometimes sitting for long hours   
watching mindlessly television in Heero's room. He sporadically   
carried one-sided conversations and remembered to eat. The nurses   
started bringing him food and flirted innocently, thinking his   
dedication to his sick friend quite heroic. He didn't want to admit   
that what he felt for the Japanese boy had long left friendship   
behind, and so he accepted their warmth and concern with the pretense   
of innocence.  
  
Eventually, the nurses must have taken pity on Duo for curling up in   
the accursed chair and offered out the use of one of the waiting room   
couches. With the assistance of two interns, Duo dragged the smallest   
and least-floral into Heero's room. He rarely visited his apartment   
and then only when the nurses forced him to 'take a break.' His   
holiday break from work ended, and he started just using up his sick   
leave, much to the annoyance of his employer.  
  
Even after the insistence of the hospital staff and Quatre, who made   
a brief visit on the twenty-ninth, Duo spent New Year's camped beside   
Heero's bed, watching the ball drop on the television. The   
night-nurses and some of the interns helped throw a small, quiet   
party with cake and sparkling grape juice (non-alcoholic).   
  
Heero looked quite handsome in his green party hat.  
  
And Duo refused to give up hope.  
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Wai! Last day of freedom! Stupid school. I'm going to  
make an effort not to let circumstances get me down. *hopeful* Lots   
of happy reviews, yay! I like how this story's coming. It feels so   
good to write out this idea's that's been plaguing me forever. Geesh.  
  
And in the next chapter: the plot thickens...!  
  
o_o It's not even NOON yet! WOW!  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!   
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	4. Lethe

LSE // 3-23-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Four: Lethe)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Lethe  
  
-  
  
Two weeks after Heero's accident, Duo found himself standing in the   
middle of a depressingly empty apartment with a duffel bag at his   
side. The stupid video store had fired him, which was fine because   
Duo didn't have time to work anymore. Unfortunately, that meant he   
could no afford to keep the crummy apartment. That was okay, too,   
because he still had the hospital sofa.  
  
He'd sold off the major things of value and anything that wasn't   
personal and he couldn't fit in the duffel bag. Duo knew he could   
count on Quatre to help him out, but he didn't plan on telling Quatre   
that he'd simultaneously lost his job and home. After all, the Winner   
family fortune was footing Heero's hospital bills, and for that he'd   
be forever grateful to Quatre.  
  
Maybe he could go and be a shoe-shine boy at one of the Winner   
estates to somehow show his gratitude. Not, of course, that Quatre   
did it just for him, but that didn't matter. Duo realized he didn't   
even know how to shine shoes.   
  
The only problem was not letting the hospital staff find out he no   
longer had an apartment. They probably wouldn't appreciate him   
actually setting up residence in the hospital. And what about when   
Heero woke up and Duo no longer had the excuse to stay day-and-night   
with him?   
  
He could always get another job, another crummy apartment. He had a   
sizable savings account he could leech off for a while. No, his   
current financial and domestic situation didn't bother him at all.   
And he was anxious to get back to the hospital.  
  
Suddenly, his retrospective silence was broken by the merry ring of   
his cell phone. Making a mental note to change the ring tone soon, he   
fumbled it out from his pocket. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello, Mr. Maxwell?"  
  
Duo recognized the voice immediately as one of the nurses, Anita. He   
tried to tell himself the call was purely personal and social, but he   
knew Anita was a young, married mother of two. "Uh-oh," he said aloud.  
  
"Oh, no, I didn't mean to throw you into a worry, Mr. Maxwell, but I   
just thought you'd like to know... Mr. Yuy's awake."  
  
"A...wha... really?"  
  
"Yes, he's talking to the doctor right now," Anita said happily,   
getting a feel-good kick off being the bearer of good news.  
  
Duo snatched up the duffel bag and started to haul ass out of the   
apartment, "Thank you so much, Anita! I'll be right over!" The cell   
phone dropped down into the half-open bag and Duo ran as fast as he   
could down the stairs. He nearly tripped and fell on the last step,   
but he threw himself against the wall for balance.  
  
His hands shook on the steering wheel and Duo let out a nervous laugh   
at his own foolishness. He couldn't help but be excited after so   
long... talking! Anita had actually said Heero was TALKING to the   
doctor! That had to be a good sign. Had to be.  
  
It was agony having to wait at red lights and actually follow the   
speed limit, but Duo wasn't about to get himself killed or ticketed   
just for a few more seconds. Heero was talking! The worry over the   
Christmas kiss wasn't even a speck on the radar anymore. The open   
eyes were just a reflex from his voice and touch. Oh, but Heero was   
awake!  
  
Even if Heero vanished again for another four years, it didn't   
matter, at least he was... alive.   
  
The front desk nurse looked up with a smile when he burst in and   
offered to hold on to his bag for him. He gratefully ditched the   
heavy duffel and barely avoided running to the elevators. They took   
forever to slowly climb up to the right floor. Would they move Heero   
to a different room? Duo hoped he could keep the couch. He didn't   
have any place else to stay anymore.  
  
It didn't matter, he could get a hotel room.  
  
Anita was at the nurse's station when he arrived, and he stopped dead   
at the look on her face. "I'm sorry, Mr. Maxwell," she started to say   
sympathetically.  
  
"No!" Duo cried, "He's not... he can't!"  
  
Anita's looked turned to panic as Duo's face went dead-white. "No,   
no! Mr. Maxwell, he's fine!" she assured, rushing over, "He's just   
fine! I didn't mean to frighten you, I was just going to say that you   
can't see him right now."   
  
She grabbed his elbow and guided him over to a nearby chair. Duo ran   
a shaking hand through his bangs and looked sheepishly up at her,   
"I'm sorry, it's just..."  
  
"I know," Anita said softly, bending down and taking both his hands   
in her own, "you've been through so much. The doctors are running   
tests right now and I'm afraid you can't see him. It shouldn't take   
any longer than just a few hours."  
  
"Yeah," Duo said with desperate smile, "okay." Just a few hours. He   
could handle that. Just as soon as his heart stopped pounding.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Someone was shaking him awake, and it took Duo a minute to figure out   
he had fallen asleep in front of the nurse's station, still in the   
same chair Anita had lead him to. And Anita was the one shaking him,   
saying, "Mr. Maxwell?"  
  
"Huh-un?" Duo blinked and stretched slightly, then fully remembered   
and sat upright excitedly, "Can I see him now?"  
  
Anita laughed happily, "Yes, yes, Mr. Maxwell. You can see him now.   
Just be warned Mr. Yuy is a little drowsy still. Doctor Haines told   
me to inform you that he's might be disoriented and confused, but   
that's normal for his type of injuries. Okay?"  
  
Duo nodded eagerly and took just a quick moment to loosen up his   
stiff muscles before following Anita to Heero's room. "I'm so happy   
for you, Mr. Maxwell," she gushed. So often she saw coma patients   
never regain consciousness and family members give up hope. It was so   
refreshing to see such a hopeful, devoted friend like Mr. Maxwell.  
  
Duo poked his head in, not exactly sure what they'd meant by 'drowsy'   
but wanting to find out before he said anything stupid.  
  
Heero surprised him by looking over and smiling. Smiling! Duo walked   
into the room grinning probably incredibly baka-like, but he just   
couldn't help it. Someone had lifted the hospital bed so Heero could   
be sitting more-or-less upright without effort.   
  
"Hi," Duo said, suddenly struck shy for no real reason. He wasn't   
sure how to react to the fact Heero was smiling at him.  
  
"Hello," the Japanese boy replied in a tired voice, hoarse from not   
being used.   
  
"Uhm, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Much better, thank you."  
  
Duo froze. Something was just terribly wrong. First, Heero smiles,   
then gives a cordial greeting and actually answers a question with   
the proper answer. And THANKS him! Smiling! Polite! CHRIST!  
  
"Is something wrong?" Heero inquired in a concerned tone, "You look a   
little pale..."  
  
Somehow, Duo managed to find his voice enough to say, "I'm fine. Uhm,   
just one minute, okay? I'll be right back..." he spun on his heel and   
all but fled the room. Outside in the hallway, he leaned up against   
the wall and closed his eyes, trying to figure out what the hell was   
going on. Heero Yuy did not show concern. Heero Yuy did not smile   
like that or talk like that or...  
  
That was not Heero Yuy. Something had to be wrong. Duo opened his   
eyes and nearly cried with relief. Of course, there had been a   
terrible mistake. He must have just found some other guy named Heero   
Yuy and sent the Christmas card out.And this other Heero just  
happened to look exactly like the real Heero. ...and...  
  
The skull fracture. Too may coincidences. Could... could THAT be the  
real Heero Yuy? It seemed too good to be true, that somehow in the   
four years since the war ended Heero went and found his soul. Somehow   
went and became more human.  
  
Whatever the explanation, something was wrong. Terribly wrong.  
  
After a few minutes getting lost and ending up in a storage closet,   
Duo finally managed to locate Doctor Haines' office. The door was   
open, and when he stepped into the doorway the doctor looked up in   
surprise. "Mr. Maxwell! Was I suppose to be expecting you?"  
  
"That's not Heero," Duo blurted out, alarmed to find his voice was   
high and shaky. He was going to start panicking. He could feel it.  
  
Fortunately, the doctor helped him into one of the chairs before   
leaning back against his desk and repeating, "That's not Heero?"  
  
Duo nodded, "That's not Heero. He... he smiled at me, and was nice.   
I don't understand it, but he's just not acting like Heero."  
  
"Did the nurse explain that it was natural for him to be confused and   
a little disoriented? I can assure you, it really is perfectly   
normal..."  
  
Duo shook his head frantically, "No, no you don't understand. That   
can't be Heero. Heero doesn't act anything like that. Heero is a   
trained Gundam pilot, he's like a machine! I mean, yeah, he's a great  
guy once you get to know him..." Duo shuddered at the memory of the   
look of concern of Heero's face... "but not like that kind of nice."  
  
The wood creaked as the doctor stopped leaning on his desk and went   
to assume a more professional position by sitting in his office   
chair. "I'm afraid I don't follow you, Mr. Maxwell. Are you sure you   
identified the man correctly?"  
  
Duo hesitated. Even though he had thought of that possibility, he   
quickly realized how foolish it was. "Yes. I'm very sure"  
  
"There... is one other explanation."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Much later in the evening, hours after Duo had first met the "new"  
Heero, he wearily sat down on his sofa. Looking over, he saw that the   
other man was sleeping, still propped up thanks to pillows and the   
angle of the bed. Duo sighed deeply and marveled at the sick humor of   
whatever Fate controlled his life.  
  
He should be lucky Heero was alive.  
  
Amnesia.  
  
Fucking amnesia.  
  
//"These area of the brain, here," Doctor Haines drew a few circles   
on an image of Heero's brain, "These areas, the limbic system, seem   
to be in control of forming and storing memory. As you see from this   
X-ray, Mr. Yuy's received the most head trauma right in here, near   
some vital limbic areas."//  
  
//Duo bit his lip, "And that means?"//  
  
//"From what these tests and my conversations with Mr. Yuy, in   
addition to the information you've given me," Haines continued, "it   
seems that Mr. Yuy has a form of traumatized amnesia."//  
  
//Duo stared at the doctor, "Amnesia...?"//  
  
//"I'm afraid it looks that way. Again, Mr. Yuy's enhancements have   
been a slight blessing in the matter. There are several types of   
memory and Mr. Yuy has zero to limited amnesia in most of them.   
Unfortunately, the key areas of declarative and episodic memory..."//  
  
//"Excuse me," Duo interrupted, "I don't understand what you're   
saying. Declare... what?"//  
  
//"Let me simplify. Mr. Yuy remembers how to do tasks he previously   
learned, for example, he knows how to ride a bike. This is his   
procedural memory and it seems to have limited amnesia. That is,   
there are going to be things he remembers how to do and things he   
doesn't."//  
  
//"Okay," Duo said slowly, "so he can ride a bike...?"//  
  
//Haines nodded, "Assuming he ever learned how to in the first   
place."//  
  
//"So... what can't he do?"//  
  
//Haines sighed, forsaking the complicated explanations of semantic   
and prospective memory, "To put it simply, I would say he's forgotten   
the past nineteen years in the sense of memories and events. He still   
remembers things like vocabulary and, like I said,   
procedural things."//  
  
//"But... I don't understand..." Duo looked at the multitude of   
charts, graphs and images that all said basically the same thing:   
amnesia, head trauma, memory loss... "Why would this effect how he's   
acting? Why is he being so... different?"//  
  
//Elbows rested to either side, the doctor leaned over the desk   
slightly, "Mr. Maxwell, you said so yourself that Mr. Yuy was trained   
to be a pilot. I'm also going to assume that he received a massive   
dose of behavioral training at a young age, correct?"//  
  
//Duo nodded weakly, thinking about what murky knowledge he had on   
Heero's past.//  
  
//"Mr. Yuy has forgotten all of it."//  
  
For the hundredth time, Duo was struck by how peaceful Heero looked   
when he was sleeping. He didn't want to know what kinds of hell that   
bastard Doctor J put Heero through to make him into that cold,   
emotionless terrorist. Maybe it was a blessing Heero was given the   
chance to forget everything.   
  
But... Duo wasn't sure he wanted Heero to forget. Those memories were   
about him, too. All the times they shared in the war -- gone!  
  
Duo was too tired to be thinking about this. And the doctors told him   
there was a good chance Heero might just recovery all his memories   
before too long. Whereas "too long" was not specified.  
  
With a tired sigh, Duo rolled onto his side and tugged the blanket up   
around his neck. One thing was for sure; tomorrow he'd have to go   
apartment hunting.  
  
"Good night, Heero," he whispered into the darkness, just like he had   
been doing for the past two weeks. And it wasn't until the words had   
already cleared his lips he even realized...  
  
Duo was already asleep when the response came, very softly.  
  
"Good night..."  
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Lethe - a river in Hades whose waters cause drinkers   
to forget their past (OBLIVION, FORGETFULNESS)  
  
I actually finished this early this morning (1 or 2-ish) but I definitely didn't have the time to do anything more than save and stumble off to bed. Fell asleep around 3, so I got about oh.. 4 hours of sleep! Surprisingly, I'm actually energetic. Maybe because I invested in a 2 liter of vanilla coke... Anyways...  
  
Like I said, I've had this 'fic idea for a while now and it's just   
been haunting me... so I'm really excited to finally be typing it!   
(Please, little demons of depression, don't kill my poor muses!)   
Naturally, Heero's going to be OOC... think of this as an   
experimentation in "What if" ...or just Violet at the mercy of her   
angst-muses which demand her to slave without food or sleep. ^_^()  
  
I totally forgort what I was rambling about, so, just... comments   
make me feel warm and fuzzy!! ...o_o;;  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	5. Moving Days

LSE // 3-25-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Five: Moving Days)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Moving Days  
  
-  
  
"Are you awake yet?"  
  
Duo snorted in a grandly unattractive way and started to roll over,   
but remembered too late the narrowness of the couch. With a startled   
'yelp' and a rich thud, he rolled straight off the sofa and to the   
tile hospital floor. "Owww..." he groaned, sitting up.  
  
A soft noise from somewhere above him caused Duo's skin to crawl   
before he figured out it was just Heero making a failed effort not to   
laugh. "Yeah, yeah, yuck it up, Yuy..." Duo grumbled out of habit   
before realizing with a cold shock the previous events.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Heero said insincerely with another slight laugh.   
The   
laugh cut off into a muffled "Ouch" and then silence.  
  
Duo quickly regained his feet, "Heero?" He let out a relieved breath   
seeing cobalt blue eyes looking back him with a pained look. "Oh, hey,   
are you okay?" Duo tried to move towards the bed but got tangled up in   
the sheet. Kicking it away and failing his arms, he finally managed to   
get free and end up next to the bed.  
  
"Stop, stop being so funny!" Heero said with a sly smile, "It hurts   
to laugh..."  
  
"I think you might have broken a rib," Duo quipped back without even   
thinking about it. "But I'll try. Wufei would be better if you didn't   
want humor."  
  
Cobalt hues blinked as Heero tilted his head curiously to one side,   
"Wu... fei?" the eyes turned inwards and Duo's heart gave a leap,   
thinking maybe the thoughtful look was a result of some memories   
coming back, but Heero then looked sad and shook his head slightly.  
  
Duo tried not to let his disappointment show, "Are you... hungry?"  
  
"No," Heero said quietly, pausing to look around the room without   
moving his head. "You look familiar. Have I seen you before?"  
  
Again, Duo's heart gave a happy leap, "Yes!" he gushed, "yes, you   
have!"  
  
"I have?" Heero looked a little overwhelmed, then smiled thoughtfully,   
"Yes, that's right. You came to see me, then turned pale and left. And   
then the doctors came for more tests..."  
  
Cursing himself for getting hopeful, Duo forced a smile, "I'm sorry   
about that."  
  
"It's okay. The tests aren't that bad. Are you a nurse? Why were you   
sleeping over there? I heard you snoring," Heero admitted sheepishly.  
  
"No, I..." Duo took a deep breath, wondering just how much anyone had   
told Heero. He couldn't imagine how confusing it must be to not know   
who you were anymore. "My name's Duo," he said cautiously, looking to   
see any spark of recognition in Heero's eyes.  
  
"I think my name's Heero. That's what everyone keeps calling me, at   
least. Heero Yuy. I can't seem to remember..." the words faded off for   
a moment as blue eyes sought out amethyst, "Should I know you? I have   
this feeling something's wrong. I should be more certain about my   
name, why I am in the hospital. I just can't remember anything..."  
  
It was a shock to hear so many word and emotions from Heero, but the   
weird feeling of being confronted with such a drastically different   
personality was wearing off. Duo loved Heero, even when Heero hadn't   
even thought of him as a friend, and he wasn't about to let this stop   
him from loving Heero now.  
  
"The doctors say you have amnesia," Duo said gently, wanting to break   
the news as carefully as possible. "I'm..." he hesitated, "a good   
friend of yours. I've been staying here at the hospital."  
  
"Oh. That's very nice of you. Do I have any family? A... wife?" Heero   
ventured cautiously, then blinked and asked, "How old am I?"  
  
"You're nineteen, same as me. No family, no wife."  
  
"That's good. I mean... I think it must be awful for you to have me  
not know you, and you're just a friend. What if I had some loved ones   
out there?"  
  
Struggling to conceal his shock, Duo just nodded dumbly in response.   
That sort of remark best suited... Quatre. ...Quatre! "Oh, man, I have   
to go make a phone call. I'll be back, though, okay? Promise!"  
  
"Okay," Heero agreed calmly. "I'll be here," he added with what looked   
like... a sly smile?  
  
Duo froze, half out the door, and turned a stunned stare on to the   
innocent-looking Japanese boy sitting there in the hospital bed.  
  
"What's wrong?" Heero asked, his head tilting again in the same   
curious manner.  
  
"Nothing... nothing at all," and he managed a very real grin. Heero   
Yuy had definitely just made a joke!  
  
The hallways were quiet as Duo headed for the nurse's station.   
Hospitals were unnaturally quiet even when busy. Except, of course,   
for the emergency room, but up here on the room floors...  
  
Throwing a few charming smiles and the assurance Quatre would pick up   
the charge to the station nurse, Duo gained access to the phone.   
Getting access to the Winner heir proved a more elusive task. Finally   
he got through to someone claiming to be Quatre's private secretary.   
Duo hadn't even known what the blond did needed a secretary. Life   
must just be more exciting if you were rich.  
  
She told him that Quatre was on Earth and asked to take a message, and   
refused to give Duo anything more on where Quatre was or how he could  
be reached. He gave his cell phone number through clenched teeth and   
then repeated it twice for her. Afraid of worrying Quatre, but also   
wanting to make sure the message got through, he told the woman it was   
merely "important" and not "urgent" like he wanted to say.  
  
Handing the phone back to the nurse, Duo looked back towards the   
hospital room with a determined look. Somehow, he would get Heero's   
memory to come back. Somehow...  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The days went on according to routine. Duo spent his days and nights   
at the hospital and, when Heero was resting or being tested, he went   
looking for an apartment. It didn't take long to find a studio   
apartment not far from the hospital (coincidence, Duo told himself,   
purely coincidental) that was half the cost of his old apartment,   
twice as clean and half as ghetto. Unfortunately, it was also half the   
size, but Duo thought of it more as a safety net.  
  
When days became a week, then two, it became clear Heero was healing   
fine physically, but not in terms of memory. Duo stopped thinking that   
it was going to be a mere matter of one thing jarring Heero's memory   
and just everything coming back. Or, like in the movies, if Heero got   
hit in the head again...   
  
But the doctors explained it wouldn't be that simple. The memories   
might just come back in little bits and pieces... or not at all. Duo   
was so distraught by that news he laid on the floor of his apartment   
for hours just staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't imagine forever   
looking at his one, true love and knowing...  
  
It just sharpened his resolve to get Heero's memories back to him. He   
wasn't sure how or when, but he would. He swore to himself.   
  
And then he promised Heero.  
  
Duo hadn't meant to, but one evening when they were watching   
television, Heero suddenly said:  
  
"Duo? Do you ever think I'll get my memories back?"  
  
Duo, who had been contemplating the complexities of the soap scum  
remover advertisement, managed nothing more than a startled hybrid   
noise similar to a "Huh?"  
  
"My memories," Heero said with a look of longing. It had taken some   
getting use to, being able to see emotion on Heero's face so   
clearly... so often.  
  
"Of course," Duo rushed to assure him, "in fact, I'm going to work  
really hard to make sure you do!"  
  
"Promise?" Heero said hopefully, turning his eyes to meet Duo's.  
  
It seemed the world stopped as Duo say himself so clearly reflected   
out from the cobalt depths. Vaguely, distantly, he knew he was suppose   
to say something, but he forgot what. Amethyst locked in with steel   
blue and the gaze took on a life of its own before Heero finally   
dropped his eyes down to his hands, "I understand if you don't..."  
  
"No," Duo said and, although his voice was quiet, it shook with raw   
emotion. He took a moment to collect himself before saying fiercely,   
"I promise you, Heero. I promise I'll do everything I can to get you   
your memories back. I promise."  
  
Whatever regret he might have felt for making such a wild promise   
without a real guarantee he could keep it vanished beneath the quiet   
joy of Heero's smile.  
  
They didn't speak of the promise again, but neither would forget it.  
  
The time came when Heero was permitted out from his bed for rounds of   
physical therapy. Despite the doctor's fears there would be some   
problems in the area of motor skills, Heero surprised them all by his   
mobility. Soon, Duo's excuses for staying in the room at night faded.   
Anything Heero could get in and out of the bed on his own and cross   
the room without disturbing the monitoring machinery.  
  
Without much fan-fare, the sofa was moved back out to the waiting room   
and Duo started actually living in his apartment. He still kept long   
hours at the hospital just keeping Heero company. Company which was   
gladly accepted. And, without even realizing it, Duo fell deeper and   
deeper in love with Heero Yuy.  
  
A fortnight after Duo had first tried to contact Quatre, the small   
Arabian suddenly showed up rather unexpectedly at the hospital. And   
the meeting didn't go at all like Duo had wanted. Heero showed no   
signs of recognition upon seeing Quatre but, for his part, the winner   
heir held a remarkable amount of control at seeing the drastic changes   
in Heero's personality.  
  
Even with his empathic reputation, Quatre was no great help to getting   
back Heero's memory. The Japanese youth seemed cheered at having a new   
visitor, however, so Duo wasn't too badly disappointed.   
  
AnA little over a month after the accident, Heero was finally   
discharged from the hospital. What few possessions he owned and some   
old clothes of Duo's (actually things bought just for Heero that Duo   
merely tried to pass off as old) that made up his entire wardrobe were   
packed into a suitcase provided by the hospital. The staff held a   
small celebration in the morning for Heero and then Anita came in   
with a wheelchair.  
  
"I can walk," Heero protested, upon seeing the chair.  
  
"Hospital procedure, Mr. Yuy. We make everyone leave in a wheelchair.   
Just be glad we don't require you to leave in one of our wonderfully   
fashionable gowns," Anita explained with a smile.   
  
"Oh, okay," Heero sat in the chair and looked over to Duo, who was   
holding the suitcase. "Ready?"  
  
More than anything, Duo wanted to answer 'no.' He had been trying to   
get up the courage all day to ask Heero to come live in his studio   
apartment. He couldn't ask with Anita standing there, and it would be   
too late once they got outside and Heero got into a taxi. And then he   
would never have the opportunity.  
  
But all he said was, "Lead the way."  
  
Duo felt weird looking at the empty room, so devoid of the things   
that, for so long, had made it seem like... some sort of home. It felt  
more like a home than any crummy apartment ever could. That's just   
because, the small voice in the back of his head chided him, Heero was   
there with you.  
  
For Heero's sake, Duo kept up a happy facade all the way down to lobby   
and out the front door. When Anita looked expectantly at him and said,   
"Did you call Mr. Yuy a taxi?" the facade trembled.  
  
"Taxi?" Heero repeated, turning his body around enough in the   
wheelchair to stare between Duo and the nurse. "Don't you have a   
car, Duo?"  
  
Duo swallowed hard, "Yeah. Of course, it's parked over there." He   
felt the need to point vaguely in his car's direction.  
  
"Well, take care Mr. Yuy! I would say I never want to see you again,   
but I know you'll be back for some check-up tests," Anita smiled.   
"Now, up and out from the wheelchair so I can take it back inside."  
  
Duo stood, numb, as Heero got up and thanked the nurse. Anita said   
something else and then left, but it seemed he couldn't hear anything   
over the pounding in his heart. Heero expected him to provide a ride   
to the apartment building one of the nurses had assured him was   
looking for a new occupant.   
  
Cobalt eyes were looking at him expectantly, and it took a minute to   
pull himself from their depths and start moving. Heero looked up at   
the sky before following. Reaching the car, Duo hesitated before   
getting inside. Now was the perfect time to ask Heero to come live   
with him, but he just couldn't seem to form the words.   
  
Heero got in and, as he was fastening the seat belt, Duo blurted out,   
"Would you like to just come stay my place? I have the room, and you   
don't have a job to pay for rent or anything..."  
  
Whatever Duo had been expecting, it wasn't the brilliant smile Heero   
answered with. "I'd love that, thank you, Duo!"  
  
His breath caught and the words spun through his head. Love. Almost,   
almost, he could hear a different set of words. I love you. Fumbling   
at his keys, Duo shot Heero a pleased smile and started the car.  
I love you, Heero, he wanted to say. I always have; always will.  
  
But, he didn't. He just put the car in gear and drove out from the   
parking lot. It was a short trip and made in silence. Duo was afraid   
if he opened his mouth he would say it. I love you.   
  
Heero, I love you.  
  
I love... "Is this your building? It looks nice," Heero said as Duo   
pulled into the parking garage, which was another bonus of the studio.   
Much better than spray-painted parallel at his old crummy place.  
  
It wasn't until they were half-way up the building in the elevator   
that Duo even remembered how sparsely furnished his apartment was.   
There was a couch, though, that he'd picked up at yard sale down the   
block. He would probably give Heero the bed.  
  
"It might be a bit messy," Duo warned, even though he knew the place   
had a spotless look because he was so rarely using it. Heero walked in   
and took the place in by spinning around in a circle, a move which   
made Duo smile.   
  
Heero laughed a bit, stopping his spin and looking at the couch, "Am I   
going to be sleeping here?"  
  
"Actually," Duo said, setting Heero's suitcase by the couch and moving   
towards the bedroom, "you can take the bed and I'll take the couch."   
He disappeared into the bedroom to fetch out a pillow and extra   
blankets. He found a spare blanket, but no extra pillow. He made a   
mental note to buy one and went back into the living room.  
  
Either he had forgotten he had put the suitcase down or just didn't   
realize it was in his way but, whatever the reason, Duo tripped right   
over the thing. His arms got caught up in the blanket and he couldn't   
maintain balance as he crashed neatly to the floor. The fall didn't   
hurt anything but his pride, but Heero gasped and quickly knelt down,   
"Are you okay, Duo?"  
  
"Yeah," Duo said with a laugh, sitting up and finding himself   
face-to-face with a pair of concerned blue eyes.  
  
I love you.  
  
He should probably stop staring at Heero's eyes like a deer caught in   
the headlights.   
  
Heero, I...  
  
Without conscious thought, Duo suddenly leaned forward and pressed his   
lips against Heero's.   
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Oh, man, did I ever have a panic yesterday when I   
couldn't write. Fortunately, the muses revived themselves enough for   
me to polish this chapter off. I'm really, really going to try to keep   
my momentum going, but it's *very* hard for me to write.   
I seem to do better when I stay up late and just block everything out,   
but it's hard. And I can't be up at 1 and 2 in the morning on school   
nights... at least, not often. I'm trying, though, I really am.  
Weekends look like my best bet, but I'm going to be gone over Easter   
and this weekend is a con, next weekend is a con and April 12th is my   
prom and... o_o gah! I'm trying! I swear!  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	6. Cobalt in the Shadows

LSE // 3-29-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Six: Cobalt in the Shadows)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Cobalt in the Shadows  
  
-  
  
Without conscious thought, Duo suddenly leaned forward and pressed   
his lips against Heero's. The Japanese youth pulled back with shock,   
cobalt eyes locking with amethyst. Duo desperately searched Heero's   
face for some sort of reaction besides surprise, hoping against all   
hope he would see something...  
  
Slowly, Heero lifted his hand. Duo froze, thinking he was about to be   
slapped across the cheek and, indeed, the hand went to his cheek. But   
it was in a tender touch, fingers lightly caressing the flesh. Cobalt   
sparkled with a soft smile as Heero gently returned the kiss.  
  
Joy surged in Duo and his arms cautiously circled the other boy's   
neck, and there came no resistance but a lengthening and deeping of   
the kiss. Surely this was a dream and he would soon wake on the sofa   
in the hospital! But no dream could create the silken feel of Heero's   
lips on his.  
  
"...Heero?" he asked quietly when the other boy suddenly pulled away.   
Carefully, Duo moved his hands to Heero's shoulders and tried to   
catch a glimpse to the lowered face. "Heero? What is it? What's   
wrong?" Duo asked frantically, finally succeeding in getting a look   
at the bewildered pain in Heero's eyes.  
  
"When did you shoot me?"   
  
"When did I shoot you?" Duo repeated, unable to actually registered   
the words in the swirling mush of emotion he brained had become.   
  
"I..." Heero shook his head, staring back down at the ground with   
eyes haunted by lingering pain. "I just remembered... It startled   
me..."  
  
Duo's breath caught, "You remember...?"  
  
"There was this girl yelling... you shot me. I was mad at you. I   
think I... hated you?" Heero lifted his eyes, "What..."  
  
"Oh, Heero," Duo made a reassuring sound and enclosed the boy in a   
tight embrace. "That was a long time ago." As far as Duo knew, the   
doctors had never filled Heero in on the more violent aspects of his   
past, and Duo certainly didn't want to. "What else do you remember?"   
he asked hesitantly, hoping...  
  
"Just that," Heero replied, his voice a bit muffled as his head   
rested up against the soft fabric of Duo's sweater. "It just flashed   
at me. Why did you shoot me, Duo? I don't understand..."  
  
Duo sighed deeply, not wanting to tell Heero that he was a trained   
terrorist and assassin. He felt a twinge of guilt and, for the first   
time, doubted his decision not to tell Heero about being a Gundam   
pilot. But, that was dangerous information even this long after the   
war and the soldier in him objected to giving so much classified   
knowledge to... a civilian.  
  
The memory was from when he and Heero first met. Duo remembered it   
clearly; Heero was about to kill Relena and he had tried to come to   
her rescue but she'd protected Heero... How was he going to explain   
the complicated issues of being a Gundam pilot to Heero? He went for   
the simplest way, "We were both soldiers once."  
  
Heero was quiet for a moment before asking, "Were we not on the same   
side, then?"  
  
"Eventually, but not when we first met."  
  
Heero pulled away from the embrace enough to look up at Duo's face.   
"I'm glad we weren't enemies for very long," he said quietly with a   
small smile. The smile brightened, "I remembered something!"  
  
"I should thank you, then, for the memory," Heero continued, planting   
a kiss on a stunned Duo's cheek. It only took him a few seconds to   
recover from his surprise to return the kiss, but seeking the   
Japanese boy's lips once more. Heero was almost sitting in his lap,   
and Duo used one arm to draw the boy closer to him.   
  
It looked like maybe no one would be sleeping on the couch tonight   
after all...  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Later that evening, Duo thought it was just too good to be true. The   
movie they were watching could be better, but at this point he would  
be willing to watch just about anything. They were both laying down   
on the couch, Duo leaning up against Heero's chest with his head   
cradled in the crook of the other boy's neck. And Heero's arm was   
curled loosely around his waist. And Duo was perfectly content to   
surrender control of the television to Heero.  
  
Heaven, in Duo's opinion, would be something like this.  
  
After the movie ended, Heero suddenly asked, "What are we going to   
have for dinner?"  
  
Running a mental review of the scarce amount of food in the kitchen  
through his head, Duo realized that, unless Heero had a secret desire   
to eat the box of baking soda... "Uhm," he said instead, "well... do   
you want to just order pizza or something?"  
  
"Oh," Heero said, clearly disappointed.   
  
Duo shifted so that he could look up into the other boy's face, "I'm   
afraid there's nothing around here to eat..."  
  
His face brightened as Heero sat up, "Do you want to go out to eat?"  
  
"Out?" Duo repeatedly stupidly. Pizza was cheap, but he was saving   
some money with the smaller apartment, and the costs of unemployment   
had yet to make a dent in his savings.  
  
"Yeah," Heero grabbed one of Duo's hands excitedly, "go out!   
Somewhere that has a fancy name and candles."  
  
"Candles..." Duo echoed faintly, not sure if his mind could handle   
Heero Yuy suggesting a candle-light dinner... date? But Heero looked   
so hopeful and happy with the idea, so how could he possibly say   
anything but... "Okay!"  
  
As soon as the words cleared his lips Heero was eagerly hunting   
through his small suitcase of clothes. The scene was so surreal Duo   
just stared at him for a moment before getting up and going for his   
closet. After shifting through the endless array of casual clothes,   
he found something remotely dressy and threw it on quickly.   
  
True, a pair of black slacks with just a black dress shirt was   
probably under-dressed, but it didn't matter. Duo didn't have the   
money to go to a restaurant that required a jacket or tie, so Heero   
would just have to settle for nice-but-decently-priced. Maybe he'd   
get them some wine to pacify the situation.  
  
Christ. He was going on a date with Heero. He, Duo Maxwell, was going   
on a DATE with Heero Yuy. No matter how many times he told himself   
what was happening was real, his brain just refused to believe.  
  
He paused, wondering where Heero had gone to change clothes. The   
bathroom was located next to the bedroom closet, and Duo could easily   
see Heero was not inside. How embarrassing if he walked in a   
semi-nude Heero! Okay, Duo wouldn't be entirely unhappy with the   
situation, but...  
  
Fortunately the mental debate was halted by Heero calling from the   
living room, "Are you ready?"  
  
"Yeah, ready, where do..." whatever Duo was about to ask died as he   
got a good look at Heero. Considering the boy's limited amount of   
clothing, the outfit was startling. Duo tried to think when he had   
ever bought such a thing for Heero and failed. He only recognized the   
simple black pants, similar to the ones he was wearing. The shirt,   
however...  
  
Locked by Duo's awed-gaze, Heero blushed slightly and self-consciously  
smoothed the material along his arms. "Do you like it?"  
  
"Heero... it's beautiful... where did you ever get it"  
  
The shirt looked like silk and featured small rows of black   
embroidery along the cuffs and collar, and the color was a deep, rich   
hue that nearly matched Heero's eyes. Those eyes sparkled with silent   
joy, and that, Duo knew, was ten times more beautiful than any shirt.   
The material clung and flowed over Heero's body which, despite being   
inactive for so long, retained the same lean muscle from the war.   
  
"Quatre gave it to me, when he came to visit."  
  
Duo made a mental note to send Quatre a very big thank-you note.   
Through some effort he tore his eyes from Heero long enough to hunt   
down his wallet and keys before leaving the apartment. One of the   
neighbors, Duo hadn't bothered to get names yet, was standing in her   
doorway just a few apartments over. Her eyes followed Heero the   
entire length of the hall, but Duo moved closer and dared to slip his   
hand inside Heero's. To his pleasant surprise, Heero glanced over  
with a smile and squeezed the hand.  
  
The young woman, disappointment clearly written on her face,   
disappeared into her apartment. Duo resisted the urge to stick out   
his tongue, but just barely.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Stepping out of the restaurant and into the brisk evening air, Duo   
gave a small shiver and folded his arms over his chest. The wind was   
swift and chilling, somewhere during day he had caught a weather   
forecast for possible snow. Neither he nor Heero had jackets or   
coats, and the car was parked nearly a block away. The walk would not   
be fun.  
  
He stepped back into the sheltered doorway of the building and   
dropped his arms, trying to look as if the cold wasn't bothering him.   
"Hey, Heero, you wait here while I go run and get the car, okay?"  
  
The other boy frowned a little and peered out at the busy streets and   
bundled pedestrians, "Are you sure?"  
  
"Sure! No sense in both of us getting cold, right? Besides, your   
shirt can't be doing anything to keep the wind out, sexy as it makes   
you look," Duo added swiftly before even realizing what the words   
were. He flushed when it sunk in he had just called Heero 'sexy.'  
  
Heero, however, beamed brilliantly and said, "Okay, I'll just wait   
right here for you." He backed further into the entry way and stood   
near the wall so as to not block traffic.  
  
Unable to resist, Duo ducked in for a quick kiss before hurrying out   
on to the sidewalk. It was still hard to grasp the concept that Heero   
was... affectionate... towards him. Gently, his fingers brushed over   
lips that had been against Heero's cheeks moments ago. A few of the   
other diners in the restaurant had raised eyebrows at seeing the two   
boys staring across the candles and into another's eyes, but Duo   
accredited that to envy.  
  
He walked quickly, partially to keep warm, but also because he was   
eager to collect Heero and... Duo was not sure what the agenda for   
the rest of the evening looked like. Did Heero have something in   
mind, or would they just go back to the apartment and...   
  
Duo's pace increased as his cheeks turned pink at the thoughts   
running through his mind.   
  
When he reached the car he fumbled around with his keys for a moment   
before wrestling the door open. In contrast to his earlier haste, he   
drove slowly out from the parking lot, taking time to calm a racing   
pulse and curb the flush on his face.  
  
Pulling up to the front of the restaurant, Duo glanced to the entry   
way and then turned in full-out stare.  
  
Heero was no longer standing there.  
  
Trying to hold back the urge to panic, Duo got out of the car and  
hurried up the walk. No Heero. Noting how the wind had shifted so   
that not even the entry way was shielded, he assumed Heero must have   
ducked inside to stay warm.  
  
Weak-kneed with relief, Duo went back into the restaurant.   
  
And looked around. And couldn't find Heero.  
  
He went back to the table they had been at then searched through the   
rest rooms and even asked the hostess at the front. She suggested   
looking in the men's bathroom and told Duo he needed to move his car.  
  
Fortunately there was an empty parking spot across the street Duo   
quickly moved his car into before going back to the restaurant and   
looking up and down the street. Where could Heero have gone? Could   
someone have... taken him?  
  
Duo quickly walked down to the intersection, all but pushing the   
other pedestrians out of him way. "Heero!" he called, the shout being   
swallowed up by the buzz of people and cars. "Heero..."  
  
Turning, he started to walk back to the restaurant, this time walking   
slowly and trying to unsuccessfully look in all directions at once.   
He was getting numb from the cold and his imagination was running   
into over drive, producing the most horrific of scenarios.  
  
What if Heero was lying unconscious in an alley?  
  
What if Heero had been taken by a gang of street thugs?  
  
What if he'd gotten hit by a car... again, and...  
  
And... Duo froze, head slowly turning towards the entrance of an   
alley even though he did not want to look.  
  
There, lying in the gloom. Stretched out along side a dumpster;   
cobalt silk-clad back to the alley.  
  
"Heero!" Duo shrieked.   
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Aw, cliffhangers! I think I should be able to get   
shapter seven done this weekend... It just depends on if I can   
maintain happiness! eep. o_o Dar, I love you. Seriously; Daryll, too.   
You guys rule. Rei, Ebony, for being my best friends.   
All of you rock.  
Yeah, so, cliffhangers. Just don't eat me! *goes back to typing*  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	7. Embrace

LSE // 3-31-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Seven: Embrace)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Embrace  
  
-  
  
"Heero!" Duo shrieked, shoving aside people as he scrambled across   
the sidewalk and into the alley.  
  
Somehow, he remembered how to breathe when Heero merely sat up with a   
startled look to peer around at Duo. From underneath the dumpster   
came an equally startled 'meow' and a calico-colored blur flashed out   
from underneath and dived into a cardboard box. Heero watched it with   
a disappointed look before getting to his feet and dusting off the   
slight staining on the knees of his pants.  
  
"Duo?" he asked worriedly, "are you okay? Is something wrong? You're   
pale as a ghost..."  
  
It seemed Duo could barely hear over the thudding of his heart, "You   
weren't at the restaurant, I..."  
  
"Oh!" Heero cried in dismay, "That must have frightened you. I'm   
sorry, it's just I saw this cat and... Duo, I'm sorry!" He stepped   
towards Duo and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist, leaning a   
soft head of unruly chocolate hair against one shoulder.   
  
"I'm sorry," he repeated. "Oh, you're freezing! I hope you weren't   
out here very long..."  
  
Even though he didn't feel as if it was terribly funny, Duo laughed.   
He just couldn't help it. Here he was, panicked near to tears and   
running around and all the time Heero was lying in an alley trying to   
coax a damn cat out from under a dumpster!  
  
Heero smiled hopefully, taking the laugh to mean Duo wasn't mad, and   
looked towards the cardboard boxes, "I don't think the cat's going to   
venture out anyway. Poor thing, it looked hungry..."   
  
"The apartment has a no pets rule," Duo pointed out, gently taking   
Heero's hand in his own. He hoped his hands weren't as cold as they   
felt but, by the look on Heero's face, he knew they were.  
  
"You're freezing," Heero moved closer, nuzzling his cheek up against   
Duo's as strong arms tightened around his waist, "you should have   
remembered to get a jacket, baka."  
  
Duo had closed his eyes and rested his head up against Heero's before  
realizing what had just been said. Carefully, he pulled free of the   
embrace enough to stare into Heero's face, "What did you just say?"  
  
Cobalt hues widened slightly in alarm, "You should have remembered to   
get a jacket?"  
  
"No, after that..."  
  
Heero frowned, "but I didn't say anything else. Is everything okay,   
Duo? I think you need to get out of the cold," he gently tugged Duo   
forward, still pressed close for warmth.  
  
Duo allowed himself to be guided forward and out from the alley,   
wondering if he was hearing things. He could have sworn Heero had   
just called him... baka. Maybe he was still in shock from the scare   
of Heero going missing.  
  
Baka...  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Hands roaming under his shirt made it difficult to actually get the   
keys in the door, but Duo managed somehow. Shuffling backwards into   
the apartment and taking the Japanese youth with him, he reached for   
the light switch, but one of Heero's hands untangled from under his   
shirt and closed over his hand. Duo opened his mouth to ask something,  
but Heero quickly pressed his lips over Duo's and effectively killed   
whatever was about to be said.  
  
Duo kicked the door closed and eagerly returned Heero's affections,   
one hand going up to caress through chocolate locks. The cobalt silk   
shirt was gone, lost somewhere nearer to the door, and Duo was able   
to trail kisses down Heero's neck and across one shoulder. Their feet   
carried them towards the bedroom, but neither boy was aware of the   
movement until Heero's back rested up against the bedroom door.   
  
Circling his arms around Duo's neck, Heero closed his eyes and tilted   
his head back against the smooth wood of the door. Duo's lips glided   
back up the crest of shoulder and across his exposed neck. Lowering   
his head, Heero seized the roaming lips with his own and ran his   
hands down across Duo's back. Nimble fingers found and began to   
dismantle the intricate twisting of the band holding Duo's plait   
together.   
  
The hair tie flew across the room as Heero managed to work it free of   
the chestnut braid. As lips parted and tongues met, the long strands   
were separated until Duo's hair surrounded and caressed over them   
both like a veil. Once Heero had worked out the final snarls in Duo's   
hair, one arm clutched across the back of the other boy's neck while   
the other hand sought out the door knob.  
  
Duo leaned back enough so, when the door was finally opened, Heero   
wouldn't fall. The two remained in the doorway, kisses being   
exchanged with a rising intensity until their feet finally carried   
them into the actual bed room. Duo wasn't even aware of their   
progress until his knees caught against the edge of the bed and he   
sat heavily on the mattress. The coils squeaked as Heero's weight was   
added, the other boy settling himself on to Duo's lap.   
  
As Duo planted another trail of kisses over Heero's shoulder, the   
Japanese youth's slender hands worked on the small buttons of Duo's   
shirt. The clothing opened and Heero roamed his hands over the   
expanse of chest revealed. Soft lips enclosed over one dark circle of   
sensitive flesh and Duo let out a low moan, drawing Heero closer.  
  
The mattress sagged as Duo felt back against it, pinned by cobalt   
eyes which prowled up and locked with amethyst. Duo's hand rose to   
stroke Heero's cheek, but it fell away when their lips met again. The   
hand gripped at the blankets and tangled through the waves of   
chestnut that sprawled over the folds of the sheets.   
  
"Heero..."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
There was pain, and someone shouting his name, and then he was   
sinking down into endless depths of water.  
  
And then it was just darkness.  
  
When he awoke there were thick leather straps holding him down.  
  
Thoughts not quite his own whispered, "Am I captured...? The third   
Federation Naval Hospital... District J-B South... 50th floor,   
Intensive Care Unit..." He didn't question why or how he knew this,   
it was just fact.  
  
By whatever measures, he was keeping the doctors and the monitors   
ignorant of his consciousness. Soon, though, he was un-watched and   
began to struggle against the restraints. He knew, beyond a doubt,   
that if it came to it he would willingly break his own arm to be free   
of the leather.  
  
A monitor flicked and flashed to life. He slowly turned his head   
towards it, recognizing the face. It was the Gundam pilot from... the   
other day. The one that shot him and prevented the complete   
destruction of Wing.  
  
"Even a man like you knows when to keep silent. I'm sure you're a   
well trained soldier like myself. You must be able to read my lips,   
right?" the pilot said with a grin. The boy had the most foolish grin.  
With large violet eyes and a long plait of light brown hair, the  
pilot looked quite incapable of serious soldiering.  
  
The boy continued, "What a guy! You've been awake all this time   
without changing your pulse or breathing pattern. Impressive."   
  
There were no monitors but, like the boy has assumed, Heero was fully   
able to read lips.   
  
"I'd like to ask you some questions. And if you'd like, I'll help you   
get out of here," the other Gundam pilot offered.  
  
And then there was darkness. He fought it, knowing the images were   
important, wanting to know... wanting...  
  
Shouting, again, and he was suddenly falling. The building, the   
table, there were behind him as he fell. The other pilot was yelling   
at him, telling him to... He was falling, the parachute on his back   
useless. What reason was there to activate it? Why should he stop the   
fall?  
  
The ground loomed ever closer and, then, from above.  
  
"Heero!"  
  
His eyes snapped open and he reached back for the parachute cord. Too   
late the nylon fluttered out, trying to halt the downward race to the   
hard earth and rock below. He was falling, and he knew, beyond a   
doubt, that he was going to smash into the rock below.   
  
And it was going to hurt.  
  
He was inside Wing, his Gundam, the rocks and the fall forgotten.   
There was a mission to be accomplished, and he would not fail. He   
stepped out from Wing with the self-destruct button in hand.  
  
"We surrender. But we will not hand over the Gundams. I repeat. We   
surrender. But we will not hand over the Gundams."  
  
Doctor J could not have been more clear. It was simple; the Gundams   
were not to be turned over into enemy hands. That only left one   
option: destruction.  
  
His thumb moved over the red button as his eyes slid closed. He found   
himself thinking of that foolish, braided pilot. Baka. There was a   
soft click as he pressed the button.  
  
And then there was the pain as Wing exploded.  
  
***  
  
Heero woke slowly, unable to register what had just happened. There   
was the lingering sense of awareness and completion from the dream,   
but it faded rapidly and merely left him with bewildering fragments.   
Falling... from a building? Gundams?  
  
One of Duo's hands rested on his chest, and the rest of the boy was   
sprawled out beside him on the bed. Long, light-brown strands of the   
unraveled braid scattered over the numerous blankets. It was a cold   
night, but underneath the covers it was warm. Heero turned his head   
and found himself gazing at the peaceful expression on Duo's   
slumbering face.   
  
What did the dream mean? Were they... memories? Heero sat up, careful   
not to disturb Duo. Hugging his knees to his chest, he wrapped his   
arms around his legs and sat there, staring into the darkness. Could   
Duo and the doctors have lied to him about the car accident? He knew   
he had been struck by a car, yes, while he was walking. He certainly   
didn't remember it. But, yet, the dream...  
  
Could that explosion be the reason for his hospitalization? But... he   
struggled to recall the important details from the dream, including   
that crucial sense of understanding. Something told him that the   
doctors wouldn't have lied... and Duo.   
  
He glanced over to the sleeping boy again. Duo... he wouldn't lie.   
Maybe he could wake Duo up and ask him about the dream...  
  
Heero shivered and slipped out from the bed. Duo deserved the sleep,   
and it could wait for morning. Besides, he wasn't even sure he wanted   
to know about the dream. Heero wasn't even entirely sure he wanted to   
find out about his past. It seemed filled with so much pain and   
violence... that machine, that Gundam. Wing, or whatever, it had   
looked so dangerous.  
  
The explosion... self-destruction... Heero shivered again, but not   
from the cold. He had been attempting to destroy that Gundam, even if   
it meant his own life. In the dream, he hadn't released the parachute   
because... he had wanted to die.  
  
Frantically, Heero jerked the top layer of blankets off the bed,   
heedless of whether it woke the slumbering Duo or not. He paused,   
holding his breath, fearful that he actually had disturbed Duo's   
sleep. However, no movement or sound rose from the bed, and Heero   
silently let out the breath he had been holding. Wrapping the sheet   
around himself, he stumbled out into the living room.   
  
There was no way he was going back to sleep; risking another dream.   
Quietly, he hunted around until he found the television remote, stuck   
down between the sofa cushions. Sitting on the floor and leaning   
against the sofa, he flipped through the channels with the volume   
near to mute. Not even flickering images of infomercials and   
syndicated reruns could shake the horrifying memories from his mind.   
  
Falling, exploding. Living, dying.   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When he woke, Duo knew something was wrong. Without moving, he stole   
a glance to the glowing clock face on the dresser to confirm the time   
was, like his watch said, three in the morning. It took him a while   
to figure out that was missing: Heero.  
  
Duo sat up slowly, feeling around the bed with his hands while his   
eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. There was no Heero-shaped shadow   
anywhere on the bed, nor in the room. He sat quietly, ears straining   
to pick up the sounds of footsteps in the apartment, but there were  
none to hear.   
  
Slowly, his ears caught and held on the high-pitched whine of the   
television, and the flickering light underneath the door confirmed   
that the living room's TV was being used. Softly, Duo crept forward   
from the bed to peer into the other room, the light from the TV   
illuminating a curled form lying there on the floor.  
  
Ducking back into the bed room, Duo grabbed a blanket off from the   
bed and wrapped it about himself for warmth. The temperature outside   
must have drastically fallen for it to be so chilly in the apartment,   
which had remarkably decent heating. Duo ventured back out into the   
living room and approaching Heero, who was curled up in just a thin   
sheet and shivering slightly.  
  
"Heero?" Duo whispered softly, kneeling down. He paused with one hand   
on the boy's shoulder, ready to shake him awake. Heero looked so   
peaceful sleeping.   
  
Hunting around, he finally located the remote and took it with him on   
a blanket-run to the bed room. He gathered up all the blankets off of   
the bed that he could and stumbled back into the living room,   
carefully placing them over the sleeping Heero. The shivering   
lessened and by the time Duo was carefully edging himself down beside   
Heero, it had stopped completely.  
  
Duo turned towards the other boy, snuggling himself up against the   
sleeping body. "Baka," Heero breathed, shifting in his sleep. Duo   
froze, positive that time around he had not imagined the word, but   
Heero was sleeping soundly.  
  
"Good-night, Heero," he whispered softly, and then paused as if   
expecting some response. Of course, there was none.   
  
But even without a reply from Heero, Duo fell asleep with a smile on   
his face. A foolish, baka-grin.  
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Yay, no cliffhanger this time. I hope you enjoyed the   
pseudo-lime. I am rather tired. Tomorrow I have a meeting to attend,   
so I won't have much evening-time to write with. I'm not sure when I  
can get out the next chapter. Things are looking pretty busy, and I   
don't function properly on school days. Whatever.  
Oh, and more bads news; I'm going blind... again. I have just really  
horrible vision. I have to see the eye doctor to get a stronger  
prescription even though I just saw him and got new lenses back in  
August... yeah. I have *really* bad vision. I'm beyond legally blind.  
Oh, one last thing; thank you to gundamwing.net for the episode  
transcripts I used to write Heero's dream sequences.   
  
As always, extreme thank-yous for all the wonderful feedback.  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	8. Being Lost

LSE // 4-3-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Eight: Being Lost)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Being Lost  
  
-  
  
The magazines in the waiting room were dull and uninteresting, so   
Heero ignored them all and just sat on the couch. Looking at the   
floral pattern in surprise, he realized it was the very same sofa Duo   
had claimed for a bed. With a nervous laugh to himself, he got up and   
moved into one of the chairs. Strange that they had moved the couch   
all the way down into the lobby, but, then again, it looked like   
someone had gotten the idea to redecorate.  
  
He felt guilty for just being there, as if he was somehow betraying   
Duo, although he knew the thought was purely irrational. True, Duo   
didn't know he was here and, true, he had taken a few dollars out   
from Duo's wallet to cover the bus fare, but... Heero sighed, looking   
over to the reception desk.  
  
His scheduled check-up with the doctor was next week, which would be   
two weeks after his release, but he couldn't wait until then. In the   
six days since leaving the hospital, Heero had been plagued by dreams   
which he suspected were returning memories. They were certainly   
frightening, but not anything to be overtly worried about. However,   
yesterday...  
  
Duo had been out job hunting and he had just been sitting in the   
apartment watching television when, suddenly, memories assaulted him.   
The episode couldn't have lasted more than just a few seconds, but it   
had been unnerving in the extreme. Heero realized he was probably   
over reacting, but maybe the doctor could offer some help.  
  
But, Heero had not wanted to alarm Duo. He hadn't even mentioned the   
dreams yet, since they had never caused enough disturbance to cause   
Duo to wake up. And... he wasn't sure he wanted to tell Duo he was   
regaining his memories, albeit slowly and fractionally.   
  
The memories did not make any sense to him, though, because what he   
remembered was always little fragments. Never was there enough to   
form a cohesive understanding of who he was. All he so far was that   
it involved a lot of violence and those Gundam creations. And a man...  
a scientist...? Heero gave an involuntary shudder.   
  
"Mr. Yuy?" the nurse called, peering over the desk. Heero stood and   
looked at her expectantly. "The doctor will see you now," she smiled   
and pointed down the hall, "his office is just down there... do you   
know where it is?"  
  
"Yes. Thank you," Heero walked off in the indicated direction. Doctor   
Haines sat behind his desk and looked up when Heero entered. "Hello,"   
Heero said nervously, sitting in one of the chairs.  
  
After the required pleasantries, Heero rambled out an edited version   
of events, leaving out the little details... involving Duo and, for   
some reason, the content of some of the memories. Something inside   
him howled for secrecy, something he couldn't explain. The doctor   
listened patiently through his explanation, then sat back   
thoughtfully.  
  
"Like I've said before, Mr. Yuy, your case is a medical anomaly,   
however, what you're describing isn't exactly abnormal. Normally,   
when a person gets amnesia it's for the events before and after the   
trauma incident, but in your case it's... well, everything in the   
past. However, even with your extraordinary recovery, it seems your   
brain is recovering your memories just as with most amnesia patients;   
with fragments and flashbacks. I guess this is both good news and bad   
news for you, but the memories should not prove debilitating."  
  
Heero nodded slowly, relieved for some reason to know what he was   
experiencing was neither rare nor abnormal. "Is there any way to...   
stop them?"  
  
The doctor raised both eyes brows, "Stop them, Mr. Yuy?"  
  
"Nothing," Heero said quickly, realizing how absurd it was for him to   
be asking the doctor to... to, what, keep him from getting back his   
memories? Wasn't he suppose to want a past? What if there was   
something important he needed to know? And... and he was suppose to   
want his memories.   
  
"Is there anything else, Mr. Yuy...?"  
  
"No," Heero got to his feet, suddenly finding the entire visit   
completely irrational and foolish. "Thank you for your time. I'm   
sorry to have bothered you."  
  
Doctor Haines rose and smiled paternally, "It's no trouble at all,   
Mr. Yuy. Everyone here at the hospital counts your situation to be   
nothing short of a miracle. Is Mr. Maxwell with you, or should I call   
you a taxi?"  
  
"I'll catch the bus, thank you, though," Heero said, edging towards   
the door and anxious to be leaving.   
  
Fortunately, he made it all the way outside and down to bus stop   
without anyone recognizing or questioning him. Heero looked up and   
down the street for the bus and, when there was none in sight, turned   
his attentions to the street map posted on the wall of the enclosure.  
  
Studying the map carefully and using equal care to count out the   
remaining dollars and cents left from the earlier fare, Heero figured   
out he could actually make it to the library. Getting home, however...  
Heero bit his lip, looking to his watch and up to the map again. If   
the bus was on schedule and showed up within the next few minutes and   
then all the rest of the buses obeyed schedule, he could make it   
across town to the public library in under twenty minutes.   
  
However, buses, in his brief knowledge of them, rarely proved to be   
on time and seemed to take schedules as merely a suggestion. Then he   
would have to walk the entire way back... Plus however long it would   
take at the library...  
  
His idea was brilliant and worth the risk, though. Surely the library   
would have some information on Gundams, or even just anything dealing   
with... war. Duo had mentioned a war, and soldiering. Heero and Duo   
had both been soldiers. The library would have something important,   
possibly even about him; he was sure of it.  
  
Heero stared at the digital face on his watch, which told him nothing   
especially valuable except that the bus was late and the time was   
eleven in the morning. Two minutes past eleven, to be precise. Wait,   
three minutes. With a sigh, he lowered his arm and turned away from   
the schedule and map.   
  
Maybe Duo wouldn't return to the apartment for lunch. Heero would   
just be gone for two more hours at the most. Duo would just assume   
he had stepped out for... for something, anything.   
  
Just two hours. At most.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Attention, the library will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please   
check out your books now. Thank you."  
  
It took a while for the words to actually register in Heero's brain,   
and then a few more minutes passed before he looked up, blinking.   
Closing? Heero glanced to his watch and gasped, eyes going wide.  
  
5:46  
  
5:47  
  
"Oh, no..." he moaned out loud to the empty space around him. How   
long had he been crammed at this table shifting through history books?  
With guilty certainly, he knew Duo was going to be, at best, worried   
or, at worst, panicked and calling the police. Some obscure fact   
assured him that missing persons reports couldn't be filed until   
twenty-four hours had passed.   
  
The knowledge wasn't entirely reassuring.  
  
With a great reluctance, Heero gathered up the books and returned them   
to the shelves. Most of them were reference anyway and couldn't be   
checked out, but even so, he didn't have a library card. And Heero   
wanted nothing more to just forget everything he had read about   
colonies and Gundams and wars and... Heero Yuy.  
  
Heero Yuy, colonial leader. Heero Yuy... Gundam pilot.  
  
Only the most recent books even mentioned Heero the Gundam pilot, and   
even then only briefly. Still, what little information he had gleaned   
about himself from the texts was disturbing enough.   
  
"Attention, the library will be closing in five minutes. Please check   
out your books now. Thank you."  
  
Pushing the spine of the last book even with its companions on the   
row, Heero stepped back from the shelf and turned away with a sigh.   
Despite all he had found out, the visit seemed like a waste of the   
afternoon. He glanced to the front desk on his way out, in particular,  
the phone. Should he call Duo?  
  
Assuring himself it was quite likely Duo was still out job-hunting   
and that the library was, as the announcement had said, closing.   
Pushing out into the street, Heero took a moment to orientate himself   
before setting off at a brisk pace.  
  
Reaching into his pocket yielded just enough money for one short ride   
on the bus. The mental debate of which bus to take where was ended   
when he spotted one at the bus stop just across the street. He took a   
few moments to check the map to assure himself it was going in the   
right direction before hurrying on and sitting in the middle.  
  
The bus was crowded with workers heading home, and he was soon forced   
to surrender his seat to an elderly lady. Clutching to one of the   
dangling straps, Heero anxiously watched both his watch and the   
windows. His watch seemed to be flying forward while the scenery   
outside passed an at infuriating crawl.  
  
At last the bus reached his stop and Heero squeezed his way to the   
door and out into the twilight. He stared down at the face of his   
watch, wanting to deny that the time was actually a quarter past six.   
Unfortunately, he looked up find himself right across from a clock   
store with it's front windows packed with clocks.   
  
If it hadn't been so unnerving, Heero would have laughed. As it was,   
he just glared at the clocks and started walking. Trying to remember   
the map, he guessed it to be no more than a five minute walk to the   
apartment. Maybe, maybe Duo wasn't back yet.  
  
Darkness fell quickly and the closer he got to the apartment building   
the more deserted the streets became. Unfortunately, Heero realized   
with a sinking certainty that the apartment building he was standing   
in front of was not his. Somehow, he had taken a wrong turn in the   
twisting streets of the residential area.   
  
Shoulders slumped, Heero turned away and hugged his arms to his chest   
for extra warmth against the falling temperature. Looking around at   
the buildings surrounding him, Heero recognized none of them.  
  
He was lost.  
  
Heero staggered back as visions assaulted him, a myriad of sight and   
sound flashing too quickly for comprehension. Hands clutched to   
either side of his head, Heero fell back against the building's brick   
wall and gasped sharply as the images sorted out into a cohesive   
scene.  
  
//With all the bombs set and ready to be detonated, Heero fell back   
against the grassy knoll with a contented sigh. The mission was   
nearly accomplished; the alliance base would be destroyed. Closing   
his eyes, he could almost see the flames engulfing the base as the   
bombs went off at the push of the button.//  
  
//"Are you lost?" a cheery voice inquired from above him. Heero sat   
up and opened his eyes, finding a young girl watching him with   
innocent curiosity written across her face.//  
  
//"Well, are you?" she repeated.//  
  
//"...yeah, I've been lost all my life," Heero replied, looking down   
at the tops of his sneakers.//  
  
//"Oh... I'm sorry," she said, standing upright. "I'm not lost. I'm   
walking Mary," she smiled, indicating the puppy at the end of the   
leash she was holding."//  
  
//The puppy walked up to Heero and poke it's cold, wet nose into his   
hand. With a rare smile, he petted the dog and rubbed her ears,   
"Okay. Good girl, Mary."//  
  
//The girl beamed, "Yeah. Cheer up!" She tugged gently on the dog's   
leash, turning to walk away. Waving happily, she called back at him,   
"Good bye!"//  
  
Heero pushed off from the wall and tried to focus on the present   
instead of the swirling images still going behind his eyes. The   
ground beneath his feet tilted dangerously and he was forced to sag   
up against the brick for support.   
  
//"Mission accomplished," Heero said without emotion, thumb closing   
over the red detonation button. As he had imagined, the bombs ripped   
the base apart. Mobile suits exploded as the flames and debris howled   
up into the sky.//  
  
//His eyes widened as the explosion continued. "Oh no! The   
residential quarters!" Heero cried, watching in horror as his   
carefully set bombs tore chaos through the alliance base and the   
homes of innocent civilians, bystanders.//  
  
Ignoring the way everything spun, Heero broke into a run, feet   
bounding a frantic staccato against the cement. He stumbled and   
nearly fell, but shear determination kept him on his feet and moving   
forward. He did not want it to go on, he couldn't...  
  
//Walking through the aftermath of the devastation, Heero stared out   
at the twisted, burning remains of what were once houses... homes. He   
had caused death and destruction where none was needed. "I went too   
far," he whispered, stopping his aimless wandering.//  
  
//A jolt of recognition shook through him as Heero found himself   
staring down at a burned and battered girl's hat. Beside it, thrown   
up against a still-smoking rock, was the barely identifiable remains   
of a young puppy. The girl and her dog, from yesterday. On the hill.//  
  
//"...no," Heero whispered, kneeling down.//  
  
"No!" Heero cried, faltering in his run and tumbling into the   
sidewalk. Skin scraped over the rough cement until the fall ended and   
he was lying half in the street and staring up at the black night sky.  
"No..." he repeated in a hollow, faint voice.  
  
Painfully, he gained his feet, but had to fall back against a nearby   
street sign to avoid crumbling back to the ground. Trembling, Heero   
clutched at the cold metal of the pole. Despite the near-freezing   
temperature he was slicked in a sheen of sweat and could still feel   
the lingering warmth from the flames of memory.   
  
"Heero!" someone shouted, but Heero was helpless to determine if it   
was reality or memory. The line was blurring between the two.  
  
Reality gently wrapped a strong arm under his arms, taking up most of   
the weight from the desperate cling to the street sign. Heero turned   
his head and, when everything stopped spinning and sorted its self   
out, he was left with a pair of worried amethysts staring at him.   
  
Wordlessly, Duo pulled him into a tight embrace and Heero gratefully   
leaned into the strong hold.   
  
"Duo," Heero murmured as he slipped into darkness with a sigh.  
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: No school friday = very cool. Have to run away for   
Saturday/Sunday, but whatever. I already have a massive chunk of   
chapter nine written. Thank Ebony for this cliffhanger; she insisted   
on it! Really, I swear, I was going to keep going and... yeah. Uhm.  
This time I used my Endless Waltz manga to facilitate the flashback   
sequence, yay.   
I'm so excited, I have the ending for this! Except one or two more   
chapters before I managed to have the ending... Maybe just a week or   
so left, depending on muse cooperation and free time.  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	9. Sans You

LSE // 4-4-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Nine: Sans You)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Sans You  
  
-  
  
"Heero!" Duo gasped, struggling to hold up Heero when the boy suddenly  
collapsed. Sweeping one arm down over the back of the other boy's   
knees, Duo managed to pick up Heero and nearly fell over from the   
additional weight. Despite looking rail-thin and scrawny, Heero   
weighed a ton! Either that or Duo was just a weakling, which   
definitely seemed more likely.  
  
Stand there, Heero clutched tightly to him, Duo felt the rising edge   
of panic dwindle and then fade. For nearly three hours he had been   
looking all over the city trying to find Heero, and trying to pretend   
he wasn't worried. Now, however, it looked as if his worry was   
justified.   
  
Somehow, he managed to carry Heero to his car, which was just sitting   
in the street still running. On retrospect, he was lucky he had   
remembered to put the car in park before jumping out. Carefully, Duo   
laid the unconscious boy into the passenger's seat and then paused,   
looking up and down the abandoned street.  
  
What should he do? Take Heero to the hospital? Slowly, Duo put the   
car in drive and started down the street, stealing quick glances over   
to his silent passenger. Heero didn't look hurt...  
  
Distance solved his dilemma, because the apartment was infinitely   
closer than the hospital. Hoping he was correct in assuming Heero   
wasn't seriously injured, Duo maneuvered the car into the parking   
garage. Looking between Heero and the door, which seemed to be miles   
away, and thinking about the lobby, elevator, hallway...  
  
He should start going to the gym, or just... something. Duo sighed   
and wrestled Heero's weight out of the car and started the long walk.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Later in the evening, Duo found himself just sitting beside the bed   
and staring at the sleeping Heero. Every so often the boy would stir   
and mumble with a nightmare before settling back out into deep   
slumber. Duo debated waking Heero when the nightmares came, but in   
the end he just sat there, helpless.  
  
He knew, beyond a doubt, that Heero was getting his memory back. A   
few hours ago caution had overcome him and he had placed a call to   
the hospital only to find out Heero had been in early in the day.   
Getting through to Doctor Haines, his suspicions had been confirmed.   
Heero was remembering things, and... and Duo wasn't sure he wanted   
him to.  
  
It was horrible to realize, but sadly true. And he had just been   
sitting there thinking about it for the longest time, unable to   
convince himself... This was Heero without Doctor J's training,   
without blood and death and without Gundam. It seemed cruel for him   
to turn back into that Perfect Soldier.  
  
But was this really Heero? Duo applied the situation to himself. What   
would he be like, if his parents hadn't died, or he hadn't taken to   
the streets in desperation? If Solo had not have died, if the Maxwell   
Church had not burned. If he never knew starvation and terror,   
violence and destruction, death caused by his own hands? No   
Deathscythe, no war...  
  
Would he still be Duo?  
  
With sinking realization, Duo knew the answer. His past made him who   
he was, and he treasured every last memory, even the horrible. During   
the war Duo had loved Heero, respected his strength and skill.   
Underneath the hard exterior, Duo had caught glimpses to tell Heero   
was human and fully capable to feel emotion.   
  
This smiling, happy, caring Heero was a dream come true, but it was   
not really Heero... and it wasn't the object of Duo's love. That   
cold, emotionless soldier was so much more than what he seemed, and  
Duo loved him for it. Could couldn't be happy with this shadow of   
that spirit, no matter how nicely it smiled.  
  
Duo sighed and leaned back in his chair. He had promised Heero to do   
everything he could to help get those memories back, but had let   
himself be distracted by the thrill of Heero's touch...   
  
Not anymore. Just... not anymore.  
  
Duo yawned before standing and stretching. In the morning, he'd   
settle things with Heero and his conscience. In the morning.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
He rose before dawn, sitting up in the bed and looking around in a   
confused manner before his eyes settled on the still sleeping body   
beside him. Heero started to lay back down and wait for Duo to wake   
up, but something stopped him. Instead, he got out of the bed and   
stood there, transfixed by the way Duo's braid curled over the pillow.  
  
The tender emotion he felt whenever he looked at Duo rose up and   
threatened to crush his resolve to just stand there. That tenderness   
wanted him to kiss those soft lips and stroke one pale cheek. To   
brush through the long strands of chestnut and marvel at the way the  
sunlight was captured through them. To get back into the bed and curl  
up against the smooth expanse of Duo's bare chest.  
  
And to just stay beside Duo forever.   
  
"Emotions are for the weak," he whispered, not sure if the words were   
his own or a shadowed remembrance. Quietly, he dressed in a pair of   
jeans and started to reach for one of Duo's black turtleneck's, but   
his hand froze in mid-motion. Quavering before him was the image of a   
tall, quiet boy with long bangs swept forward over one side of his   
face to conceal emerald eyes.  
  
Heero shook his head to clear the vision, not wanting to know who the   
boy was, and reached for a different shirt. Behind him, blankets   
rustled and he froze, hardly daring to turn around. Fortunately, Duo   
merely mumbled something about pancakes, rolling over to throw one   
arm over the empty space where Heero use to be.  
  
With careful, silent movements, Heero searched through Duo's things   
until he found the boy's wallet. Murmuring an apology, he took the   
money out from it and then put it back in the pant's pocket like he'd   
found it. He counted the money before shoving it into his own back   
pocket and standing, looking around the room.  
  
His only possessions were some clothes, and none of them were worth   
packing up. It would be a hindrance to travel with a suitcase anyway,   
and he needed to move with speed. Crossing over to the bed, Heero   
knelt down and reached out to stroke Duo's braid, but hesitated out   
of fear the boy would wake up. Cautiously, his fingers made contact   
with the plaited chestnut hair in a brief caress before he stood and   
moved away from the bed.  
  
Almost to the front door, Heero paused and turned back, moving quickly  
over to the coffee table. It didn't take long to locate a pen and,   
after a silent hunt, a pad of paper. Quickly, he scrawled out a   
message and tore the paper free. Still, he hesitated, wanting to   
assure himself he was making the right decision.  
  
Something, some part of himself locked away, warned against staying.   
He didn't belong here. Heero had to leave... it was the only choice.   
The memories would not stop, and they demanding that he leave.   
  
"I'm sorry, Duo," he thought, laying the piece of paper on the coffee   
table next to the television remote.  
  
When he opened the room and stepped out into the hall, Heero realized   
that he had secretly been hoping Duo would wake up and stop him.   
Shaking his head in a silent berating, Heero quietly closed the door   
on that hope. The soft sounds of his footsteps seemed unnaturally   
loud in the empty hallway, and Heero was sure they would wake someone.  
  
No one stirred at Heero's exit from the building, not even the night   
clerk sleeping on the sofa in the lobby. Outside, the streets were   
filled with a modest amount of sleepy traffic of the early commuters   
and the tired night-shift workers heading home. Heero started walking   
without bothering to think of where he was going.   
  
Somewhere, he knew, he had some sort of home. Maybe even people   
waiting for him. Heero didn't know where that was, though... but   
maybe the memories would tell him.   
  
Streets and buildings passed without him noticing. The hours   
stretched and the winter sun rose into the sky. Vaguely, Heero was   
aware of faint hunger, reminding him that he should have though to   
eat before leaving. The cold penetrated through the comparably thin   
material of his sweatshirt, but it was tolerable as long as he kept   
moving.   
  
No one paid him any attention, and likewise he ignore them. Once, a   
memory sprung up, but it vanished quickly and caused no more than a   
small hesitation in his stride. More, he knew, would follow. Maybe   
they would direct him to some place...   
  
Eventually the residential apartment complexes gave way to offices   
and other businesses, and the traffic increased. Looking up from the   
sidewalk, Heero stopped walking and it occurred to him that, since he  
had no destination, he wasn't technically lost. He was getting tired   
of walking, but he didn't want to waste money on a bus or taxi.  
  
Just as he was getting ready to resign himself to start walking again,  
he spotted a group of tourists getting ready to load back up on to   
their bus. Darting forward, Heero slipped into the crowd and carefully  
stepped up beside one of them. With a skill he didn't know he   
possessed, Heero carefully removed the woman's group I.D. and pinned   
it to himself.  
  
Moving away from the woman and towards the bus, Heero was struck with   
the realization of what he had just done. Without even thinking...   
  
The smiling tour guide didn't seem phased when he boarded the bus. In   
fact, she beamed at Heero and asked brightly, "Are you ready to go?"  
  
Heero nodded and moved past her, taking a seat near the back. He   
didn't care where the bus was going, so long as it was far away from   
here. Far away.  
  
"Mind if I sit here?" a middle-aged man asked, gesturing to the empty   
seat beside Heero.  
  
Heero looked up at the man and replied, "Hn."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Duo woke up to find himself staring at an empty stretch of bed. He   
blinked, struggling to work his mind out into properly cognitive mode   
and figure out why it was odd the bed was empty. Sitting up, Duo   
looked around the equally empty and silent bedroom with a bewildered   
stare. "Heero?"  
  
Walking out into the living room in just his boxers, Duo shivered   
with the cold and went over to the thermostat. "Heero!" he called,   
louder, the words seeming to almost echo out through the empty   
apartment. A nervous flutter went through him before he could stop it.  
  
Turning, he went back into the bedroom and quickly threw on the pants   
he had worn yesterday before resuming his search. It didn't take long   
to determine Heero was nowhere in the small apartment or in the   
hallway, although Duo had no idea why he looked there.   
  
"Heero!" he shouted in desperation, leaning up against the door and   
staring out at the living room. Where could Heero have gone?  
  
His eyes fell on the coffee table and he noticed there was a message   
left on it. Walking over, Duo sighed with relief. Heero must have   
just stepped out for... coffee or a doughnut. Or something, and he'd   
left a note saying so. That was it.  
  
Duo picked up the piece of paper and looked at the familiar print.   
Duo's name was written clearly across the top, followed by just a   
couple short sentences. Reading them, Duo felt the color drain from   
his face in horror.   
  
"Duo -- It's better this way. Don't try to find me. -- Heero  
  
"PS- I took the money from your wallet. Sorry."  
  
The paper fluttered to the coffee table and laid there, staring up at   
Duo mockingly. He was gone. Gone...  
  
"Heero..."  
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Sans- WITHOUT, wanting, lacking, minus  
  
I tried to squeeze it into one chapter but failed, so chapter ten   
*should* be the end! Sorry for all the cliffhangers... heh...  
Erm -- not sure when I'll actually have chapter ten ready. I'm aiming   
to get this done before the weekend's over. Honestly!  
Sorry this chapter is so short, I just couldn't fit the next sections   
into this one, so... yeah. I better hurry so I can watch Law & Order  
at nine... ::runs off:: Feed the muses!  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



	10. Once Again Me

LSE // 4-6-03   
(Another Side - Chapter Ten: Once Again You)  
rated: PG13 - language, content  
shounen-ai/yaoi   
  
Once Again You  
  
-  
  
"Did he take anything?"  
  
"Just some money... Quatre, he doesn't have a change of clothes or a   
toothbrush or even know where he's going!" Duo knew he was rambling,   
but he couldn't help it. His entire day had been spent in a city-wide   
search of all the buildings and streets he thought Heero might have   
gone to. Returning to the apartment in defeat at dusk, his first   
instinct had been to call Quatre.  
  
"Hold on, Duo," Quatre said quickly, and Duo could hear a faint,   
muffled conversation in the background between Trowa and the blond.   
  
There was the sound of a quiet scuffle and then Trowa's soft voice   
came over the phone, "Duo. You shouldn't worry. Heero can take care   
of himself."  
  
"Trowa!" came Quatre's shocked cry, "that's so insensitive of you!"   
Another scuffle, and then Quatre was in control of the phone, "I'm   
sorry, Duo, he means well..."  
  
"No..." Duo mumbled, "he's right. Heero knows what he's doing...   
Just, keep a eye out for him, okay? He might have gone back to   
whatever life he had before all this started."  
  
"Duo, you have his old address, correct? The one you sent a Christmas   
card to? Have you ever thought about looking into that?"  
  
Duo smacked himself on the forehead with the phone, "Of course!   
Thanks, Q, I'm such an idiot! I knew calling you was the right idea."  
  
Hanging up, Duo felt better than he had ever since he found Heero's   
note... and noticed all his cash was gone. The money wasn't important   
though, if it helped Heero stay... safe. Duo sighed and stared down   
at the phone before hesitantly punching in a well-memorized number.  
  
On the fourth ring, and just before was about to give up, they came a   
deeply annoyed, "WHAT?!"  
  
"Gah!" Duo shrieked, jerking the phone away from his ear, "Hilde!"  
  
"Wha? Oh! Man, sorry, Duo, I thought you were someone else."  
  
"I think I'm deaf now..."  
  
Hilde laughed, "Whatever! Oh, I got your Christmas card and meant to   
call, but I've been busy. So, what can I do you for? Or is this just   
a social call?"  
  
Quickly, Duo sketched out the events in question, omitting the   
non-vital information for the sake of time and privacy. He finished   
with, "And I was hoping you could check out the address for me. I   
don't have a computer here or else I would do it myself."  
  
"No problem! But, Duo... I'll look up the address for you, but I have   
to ask... What are you going to do if it turns out that's where Heero   
is staying? Do you plan on flying over there and knocking on his front  
door just like that? I mean, the guy left. He wants to be alone."  
  
Duo sighed and debated arguing with her, but that traitorous half of   
him agreed with what Hilde was saying. "Yeah, whatever," he mumbled   
instead, "Thanks, Hil."  
  
After a few minutes of exchanged pleasantries, Duo was off the phone   
and staring at an empty apartment again. It was strange how empty the   
place looked with Heero gone. Duo knew he was being over-dramatic,   
but he couldn't help but worry about the boy. Hilde and Quatre's   
scenario, that Heero was going back to his home and life, was a   
painful thing to think about, but not concerning. It mean Heero would   
be okay.  
  
But what Duo was afraid of was that Heero didn't know where he was   
going and would end up... Duo kicked the sofa angrily, trying to   
drive the thought from his mind and therefore decreasing the chance   
it could be true. Heero was going to be okay.  
  
He had to be okay.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A week after Heero's disappearance, Duo came home from his new job to   
see the flashing red light on the answering machine. He'd bought the   
device with the hope Heero would try and call and, seeing the   
flashing light, Duo couldn't help but feel a thrill of hope.   
  
That hope was crushed, however, when he played the message and it   
started with Hilde's voice. Remembering that Hilde was checking out   
the address for him, Duo regained some of that hope. "Alright, Duo,"   
Hilde's voice, tinged metallic by the machine, announced, "I got as   
much info as I could off what you gave me. Call me back, 'cause I   
guess I found something good."  
  
Duo immediately snatched up the phone and called Hilde, holding his   
breath while it rang. Fortunately, she picked up on the third ring   
with, "Yo, Schbeiker."  
  
"What did you find?" Duo blurted out, screwing an actual greeting.  
  
"Gah, calm down. I didn't find Heero."  
  
"Oh..."   
  
"You sound like I just kicked a puppy."  
  
He sat on the sofa. "Sorry..." Hopes crushed, Duo hardly dared to ask,  
"Well, what did you find?"  
  
"Heero did live there for a while. I talked to the land-lady, she   
says she hasn't seen Heero since he moved out since late December. He   
lived there for about four months. Apparently he was doing some work   
in the area, but she didn't know what."  
  
"Oh... Well, thanks, Hilde. I really appreciate it," Duo tried to   
feign actual gratefulness, but came up short. He was back to square   
one... worse than one, because he definitely did not have the   
computer to investigate electronically, and a trip to Japan was out   
of the question with his finances.  
  
"Ah-ha, that's not all! You're gonna love me, Duo, I went ahead and   
hunted through whatever I could for any activity under Heero's name   
in the past four years."  
  
"...Hilde, I do love you! Did you find anything?"   
  
Duo could almost hear the grin in her voice, "Well, not anything   
useful for finding Heero, but I thought you'd like to know anyway.   
You'll never guess, so I won't even bother, but it turns out Heero's   
been doing security work."  
  
"Security?"  
  
"Yeah, I got pay stubs and employee records from all over the   
colonies and spots on Earth," Hilde said proudly. "Shopping centers,   
some important political stuff. His last gig was out in Sapiro--  
  
"Sapporo?"  
  
"Whatever, Japan. Anyway, he got fired in December and moved out a   
few days later according to the land-lady. Funniest story, though...   
Some bum tried to steal an elf from the Santa's workshop display and   
Heero cracked the guy's arm in half."  
  
Duo laughed despite himself, "Anything else?"  
  
"Nope, sorry. I couldn't find anything on him after December. I'll  
keep an eye out and let you know if I spot anything, though, okay?"  
  
"Sure, great. Thanks, Hilde."  
  
If I were Heero Yuy, where could I be...? Duo thought to himself,   
saying goodbye to Hilde and tossing the phone on the couch. Duo   
chewed on his lower lip in debate, trying to think like Heero Yuy.   
Complicating matters was the fact Heero might have his memories   
back... or at least most of them. Or none at all.   
  
Duo stared up at the ceiling, unable to stop himself from wondering   
what Heero was doing at that moment.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"You have amazing credential. Several years experience... many   
references... Well, you look to be an answer to our prayers! I can't   
give anything final yet, but it looks like the job is yours."  
  
"Hn," cobalt eyes flashed as Heero removed his stare from the man's   
face to gaze out the window. For some irrational and stupid reason,   
he found himself wondering about a certain...  
  
"Welcome to Renalt Security, Mr.Lowe!"  
  
Heero snapped his eyes back to the manager and gave a short nod.   
  
...Baka.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Winter gave way to the warm breezes and live-giving rains of spring   
without affecting Duo's routine. Every day he came home to stare at   
the answering machine, which, every day, did not hold a message from   
Heero. Every week he called Hilde only to get a negative response.   
Heero Yuy might well have dropped off the face of the earth for all   
Duo knew and feared.   
  
April showers brought May flowers, and Duo slowly stopped thinking   
Heero would call, then the calls to Hilde dwindled before ceasing   
completely. He sold the apartment and moved back into brilliantly   
crummy one which was cheaper without hesitating to think, "What if   
Heero came back?" Duo didn't talk about it with Quatre when they   
talked on the phone, and Hilde didn't mention it either.  
  
Just before moving into his new, crummy apartment, Duo, cleaning out   
the closet for packing, found the cobalt silk shirt Heero had worn on   
their first real date. Standing there in the empty apartment amid   
stacks of boxes holding that shirt, Duo felt a strong sweep of grief   
and longing. As if Heero had died instead of...  
  
Closing his eyes, Duo had clutched the shirt to him and tried to   
visualize what Heero had looked like in it. The image came willingly   
and incredibly vivid, as if Duo could just reach out and... His hand   
closed over empty air, and he opened his eyes. Tears tumbled down on   
to the silk, probably ruining the fabric. With a strangled cry, Duo   
had hurled the shirt away from him and sank to the ground, overcome   
with emotion.   
  
And spring fell away in favor of early summer.  
  
Duo got into the habit of visiting the park after work and on   
weekends, going and sitting beneath one of the cherry trees for   
hours on end. Sometimes, he would take a book, but mostly he just   
watched the clouds go by. At first, he would look at the sky and   
think, "Maybe Heero is watching the same sky as me. Maybe he thinks   
that cloud looks like a rabbit, just like me."  
  
But those thoughts fell away in the face of reality, and Duo accepted   
the fact that Heero was never going to stop and stare at the clouds   
and think, "What is Duo doing?" Because Heero was either dead or he   
didn't want Duo Maxwell in his life. Or he was still out there,   
wandering around, unable to remember who he was. All of the scenarios   
were equally possible, and all were the reason Duo stopped thinking   
about cobalt eyes and chocolate hair. Kisses and...  
  
Summer turned to fall.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
In late September, Duo found himself under his favorite tree, just  
enjoying the breeze and the shade. The day was warm, the summer   
weather having yet to give way despite the fading coloring on the   
leaves. He had brought a book with him, but he had yet to pick it up.   
It was a weekend, and the park had a bit of a crowd, but few bothered   
to wander off from the trail and picnic areas.  
  
He found himself staring at young couple tongue-locking on one of the   
benches and quickly looked away, unable to stop a sharp pang of envy.   
Unexpectantly, Duo was thinking of soft lips, sharp eyes, wild hair...   
  
Duo lunged for his book with an almost violent speed, snapping the   
covers apart to expose the print within. However, he was unable to   
concentrate on the story and ended up placing the novel aside. Looking  
out at the park, he scanned, with disinterested, over the smiling   
faces in the crowd.  
  
Slowly, his eyes stopped moving and Duo blinked once before jerking   
his head to the left. Duo's heart leapt into his throat, unable to   
believe what he was seeing. Standing over on the path, back to Duo's   
tree... Heero! Hardly able to breath, Duo started to jump to his feet,  
shout, dance, anything--!   
  
Heero turned and...  
  
Duo stopped in mid-movement, sinking back against the tree. A very   
not-Heero face lit up and the young man started walking towards an   
equally happy looking young man. Duo glared daggers at them both as   
they walked off down the path.  
  
"It must be that phone call from Quatre," Duo muttered to himself   
with a sigh. That morning, the Arabian had innocently asked if Duo   
was having any luck tracking Heero down. It was the first time he had   
really thought about Heero in nearly... a week. Even though Duo   
promised himself he would move on; get a life. Forget...  
  
The afternoon wore on as he plowed through his book, but every so   
often his thought would drift... to Heero. And Duo would mentally   
chastise himself before trying to unsuccessfully turn his full   
attention to the novel. It wasn't his fault the man on the cover of   
the book bore a slight resemblance to Heero.  
  
Finally, Duo could stand it no longer and got up with a stretch,   
resolving himself to going and spending the rest of the day holed up   
in his apartment watching seedy television. Duo started to leave, but   
remembered half-way out of the park that he'd left the stupid book   
laying under the tree.   
  
He was tempted to just abandon the God-forsaken thing, but it was a   
library book. With an annoyed sigh, he turned around and trudged back   
to the cherry tree. Glaring down at the book, which just lied there   
innocently, Duo swiftly knelt and picked it up.  
  
He started to leave, thoughts turning the gourmet cuisine of frozen   
dinner awaiting him, but hesitated, looking back over his shoulder.   
He had the most peculiar feeling of eyes watching him.  
  
Duo turned around completely, dropping the book, which laid there in   
the dirt forgotten. Standing no more than a few yards away was Heero   
Yuy, clad in black spandex shorts and a green tank top.   
  
Duo was obviously hallucinating. Maybe he'd died, underneath the   
cherry tree, and this was either going to be heaven or hell.   
  
The wind gently plucked at the green fabric, rolling it over the   
muscles of Heero's chest, flicking at the waist of the shorts. Dark   
brown bangs fluttered low over stern-looking cobalt eyes, which were   
locked on Duo with a breathtaking intensity.   
  
Slowly, Heero was walking towards him. Duo could only stare, hoping   
his face was not as pale or shocked as he felt it should be. Surely,   
this had to be a dream. Either he was dead or dreaming... Duo's   
spirits fell as he marveled at the cruel face of Fate.  
  
"Duo."  
  
He looked up, staring in shock at that one single word. The eyes, the   
face, the voice... everything was so perfectly Heero... Heero during   
the war, the Perfect Soldier. Unable to stop himself, Duo reached out   
and poked Heero squarely in the chest.  
  
Heero looked at the slim finger stabbed against his sternum before   
Duo removed it with a flush, hastily managed to gasp out, "Heero?"   
  
"Hn," Heero nodded slightly. Duo thought Heero looked uneasy despite   
there being no discernible difference in his face or voice... grunt.  
  
"So..." Duo said slowly, drawing the word out, raking his eyes up and   
down the familiar stranger before him, "Got them all back?"  
  
Heero nodded again, even more faintly, "Hn."  
  
"...I'm glad," Duo tried to sound sincere and knew he failed   
miserably, but didn't care.   
  
"Hn," and Heero didn't even bother with the nod.  
  
Amethyst sought cobalt, but Heero's eyes darted away. "Oh..." Duo   
breathed carefully, putting everything into that one, small sound.   
His own gaze fell into the dirt, and he found himself struggling   
against tears. He was not going to start crying in front of Heero.  
  
Strong fingers gently lifted his chin until Duo was forced to meet   
Heero's unreadable stare. "Baka," he said softly, "just because I'm   
myself again..."  
  
Everything shimmered, and then Duo knew there were tears spilling   
down from the corners of his eyes.  
  
"Doesn't mean that I don't..." Heero paused, his other hand coming up   
to brush away the tears with one thumb. Duo could only stare, shocked,  
as the hard cobalt eyes softened and Heero's mouth slowly formed a   
rare, beautiful smile.   
  
"I love you, baka," Heero whispered.  
  
Duo made a sound between a choke and a laugh, throwing himself at   
Heero to clutch his arms tight around the other boy's neck. Heero's   
arms carefully encircled Duo's waist and then, unable to stop himself,  
spun them both around. "I'm sorry," he whispered in Duo's ear, "I had   
to find out... for myself."  
  
The chestnut braid danced as Duo shook his head, not wanting to hear   
apologies or excuses. They didn't matter. It didn't matter... Heero   
loved him...! Duo pulled his tear-smeared face away from Heero's tank   
top, using his shoulder to brush at his cheeks. "I love you, Heero."  
  
"I know," Heero murmured faintly, capturing Duo's lips with his own.   
Pulling away just enough to stare into Duo's eyes, he said softly,   
"Baka, I always knew."  
  
-  
  
-   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Author's Notes: Okay, really proud of myself for finishing this. My   
ego definitely needed this 'fic and everyone's warm praise.  
  
...here's the thing, though. I'm going away. A hiatus, if you would.  
GWyaoi.org is having a 1x2 Alternate Universe Novella contest that   
I'm going to be entering. As per contest rules, I cannot archieve my   
'fic until it has been completed and turned into Nitid & Co. The   
deadline is June 30th, so that's the longest my hiatus could   
possibly be.   
Of course, I plan on finishing it *before* the deadline!   
::cough--wishful thinking!--cough::  
  
So, this is good-bye for a while! Thank you, love you all!  
I'll be back and, if you want to know when, just pop an email over to   
ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com and I'll add you to the UpdateML, which is   
just a little something I send out to let people know when and where   
I've updated anything 'fic related.  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2003 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.   
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)   
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"   



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